


Don't You (Forget About Me)

by CandyDippedNightmare



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Canon Typical Horror, Canon verse, Fix-It-Fic, Fluff, Getting Together, Homophobia, I say that it'll probably be like 2, Insecure Richie Tozier, Lots of Original Characters - Freeform, M/M, Memory Loss, Nice Myra Kaspbrak, Rated T for swearing, Richie and Eddie share one braincell, Shes not even alive but shes still causing shit, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, adult losers gang, i guess?, its passing but its there, no beta we die like men, spoilers for the 2019 Movie, spoilers for the book, the losers gang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2020-08-09 21:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 38,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20124373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandyDippedNightmare/pseuds/CandyDippedNightmare
Summary: Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak met in elementary school in 1976, defeated a demonic shapeshifter, moved away, and forgot all about Derry Maine.Rich Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak met at a party in 2000, began a relationship, (eventually) began to thrive together, and got a dog.Mike Hanlon calls them in 2017, contradicts everything they thought they knew, and tells them the demonic shape shifter is back.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this plot bunny has been in my head since I read the book, aka: before the film came out even so I am ridiculously late actually writing it. A N Y W A Y: This follows book canon but in the time of the film.  
Anyway enjoy and please comment.

** _New York- 2000_ **

Rich took a long drag of his cigarette as he stared out over the subway tracks, behind him he heard someone tut. A large, well off looking woman was glaring at him and pulling her daughter away, he raised an eyebrow at her, and she didn’t even have the decency to look ashamed at being caught. Her daughter was also watching him with a non judgemental curiosity, Rich pulled a face at her, making her giggle. Furious, the woman pulled her daughter closer to her and transferred her glare to her daughter instead. The girl immediately went comically quiet and still in an attempt to please her. Rich felt a rush of inexplicable familiarity.

“Oh give me one,” Sandy appeared from nowhere, completely forcing the familiarity from his mind, laughing when Rich jumped.

“I thought you quit,” he said. Sandy shrugged and helped herself to one.

“Past Sandy was an idiot if she thought she could get through this party without a smoke,” she said.

Despite them coming to New York at the same time, hell, Sandy was half the reason Rich moved to NYC in the first place, they couldn’t have looked more different. Sandy had found a well paid office job with health insurance and potential career progression. Although her dress was simple, it had a level of class which Rich sorely lacked, and clearly stated ‘I am an adult.’ Rich looked like a kid who had come to New York to ‘make it’ about a month ago. This was not strictly true, he was in fact a kid who had come to New York to ‘make it’ three years ago. Even for an office party he was wearing jeans and ratty converse, though be it with a shirt.

“Remind me why you’re forcing me to suffer through it as well then?” He asked.

“Because I need a fake boyfriend to keep Creepy Steve away from me,” Sandy explained, “that’s the only reason I’m friends with you.”

Rich gasped dramatically.

“Are you using me Miss Sandra Jones?” He asked in his southern belle voice, “I thought you loved me!”

Sandy played along, taking a dramatic drag of his cigarette, then putting an impression of a southern gentleman.

“Love? Oh grow up Richard, love is for poor people.”

They laughed and then stood in a comfortable quiet for a moment as they both smoked.

“Besides,” Sandy went on, “I need to introduce you to Eddie. My friend who also grew up in Maine?” 

Rich rolled his eyes.

“You know Maine is an entire state right? Not one town,” he reminded her.

“He’s your type,” Sandy continued, as she often did, as if Rich hadn’t spoken, “kind of mean, big brown eyes. Maybe he’s your mystery boy,” she teased. Rich gave her a playful shove.

“Fuck off! I am never getting high with you again!”

“Liar,” Sandy smirked, completely unconcerned. She put out her cigarette just as the train pulled up and offered her arm to Rich, “shall we?”

Rich linked arms with her.

“We shall.”

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

Eddie mindlessly swallowed a cocktail of pills. He’d promised himself when his mother had died three months before that he would stop, but that still hadn’t happened. He’d lived in the apartment on and off since he and his mother had moved to New York, yet it was almost completely void of him. From the lacey tablecloth to the cute kitten figurines on the windowsill, the apartment he’d been paying the rent for since he’d left college belonged completely to his mother. And despite her no longer being there Eddie couldn’t help but feel watched. He checked his watch.

Shit.

He was going to be late.

“Eddie!” A voice greeted him as soon as he got out of the apartment, and Eddie had to resist the urge to bolt. Instead he put on a fake smile.

“Hello Myra,” he said. Myra had taken it upon herself to keep his mother company during the last year of her life when she was housebound at best, bed bound at worst, and while Eddie appreciated that massively, it had allowed his mother to put the idea that Myra needed to look after him in her head.

_ That Myra girl is nice,” his Ma said. She’d been saying it alot since Myra’s visits had become more frequent. _

_ “Hmm,” Eddie said non commitently, pretending to watch the crappy soap his mother had on the TV. _

_“I worry about you Eddie,” His Ma sighed, “why have you never brought a girl home?”_

_Eddie shrugged, wishing desperately he was anywhere else._

_“You need someone to look after you Eddie,” his Ma pushed, “I’m not going to be around forever.”_

"_I’m just waiting until I’m sure,” he said, “you can never be too careful with these things.” _

_“Well, that Myra girl is exactly the right sort,” his Ma said._

_"She’s not my type,” Eddie tried, taking a different direction but his Ma was intent on having the conversation. _

_“Who is your type then Eddie?” She asked suspiciously. _

_Eddie shrugged, intently watching the TV in the hope that she would drop the subject._

“You look nice,” Myra said, “going somewhere?”

“Business party.”

“Oh that sounds like fun!” Myra enthused. Eddie was almost certain it would not be, “do you want to come over after? I’m making lasagne.”

“No thanks, there’s going to be food there,” Eddie said, having no idea if that was the case.

“Oh, some other time maybe?” She sounded hopeful, and was still smiling sweetly at him. 

“Maybe,” Eddie said, not wanting to completely shut her down. He liked Myra, she seemed kind and sweet and she had done a good job not just looking after his mother but keeping her company, but she also reminded him so much of his mother that he was slightly uncomfortable talking to her, never mind taking her up on her offers for what he assumed would be dates. That was a whole lot of baggage he did not want to unpack. 

"See you then," he said, locking his door.

“Oh. Bye Eddie.” 

He gave Myra a friendly, if slightly awkward wave and began to jog down the same stairs he'd been jogging down for years.

It was only once he was outside the apartment building that Eddie finally felt as if he could breathe.


	2. The Phone Call

** _2018_ **

“Honey I’m home!” Rich called as he came in. The only response he got was the taps of Zorp’s feet as he came to greet him.

“Hiya Boy,” Rich scratched him behind the ears.

Zorp was possibly the strangest looking dog Rich had ever seen, the people at the shelter hadn’t even been able to guess what breeds were in him, he looked like a mad scientist had sewn a whole bunch of dogs together and immediately regretted it. Zorp was a lanky dog with one ear turned out and one not, making his face look lopsided. His eyes were two different colours and bugged out of his head while his tongue permanently lolled out of his mouth . His unfortunate appearance was not helped by the fact that he had three legs, but frequently forget this and fell over. A lot.

For Rich it was love at first sight. Eddie, despite them owning Zorp for three years claimed he didn’t even like the dog, but Rich knew better, Eddie probably loved that dog more than he loved him.

“At least _ someone’s _happy to see me!” Rich called again.

“Yeah, you’re home! Great! Now shut up!” Eddie called back.

Grinning, Rich followed the voice into the sitting room where Eddie was in the same position he’d been when he’d left for work that morning, and every Wednesday since he’d gotten them off of work, stretched across the couch, watching his show.

“Have you moved at all today?” Rich asked. Eddie moved his legs to allow Rich to sit down and then rested them over his lap.

“Yes. Because I had to take _ your _ dog for a walk,” Eddie told him glaring at Zorp, who was curled up between them. Zorp sighed contentedly. 

“My house husband,” Rich cooed.

“I work more hours than you Fuckface, now shut up! We’re about to find out if Madison’s going through with the wedding.”

“Wow, sorry Eds I didn’t realise it was so serious,” Rich teased, smirking as Eddie glared at him. He took his soap opera very seriously.

“You’re just jealous because you’ll never write anything this good,” he told Rich who pouted.

“You’re mean,” he said.

“And you’re loud. Shut up!”

Rich did as he was told. He moved his position to lay on Eddie’s chest, displacing Zorp, and Eddie began to absent mindedly play with is hair. He was just about to drift off, and Madison was just about to make her decision at the altar, when the phone began to ring.

Rich and Eddie both glanced at each other, no one ever called their landline. 

“Probably just someone trying to sell something,” Rich said, ignoring the dread pooling in his stomach. Eddie nodded, but didn’t unpause show, for an impossibly long time they sat and listened to the phone ring. It cut out. Then almost immediately began to ring again.

“Or my secret girlfriend,” Rich joked, Eddie rolled his eyes.

“As if you could get one,” he shot back.

“I’m a DILF!”

“You’re not even a dad!” Rich winked at him.

“We can work on that later,” he said, making Eddie roll his eyes, but smiled a little.

“Just go and answer the phone,” he ordered.

“Yes sir,” Rich gave him a salute.

Eddie watched, chewing his lip as Rich did so.

“Hello?” Rich said, taking the phone with him and sitting back on the couch, cross legged like a teenager.

“Mike? I don’t know a Mike Hanlon, how do you-” Rich’s questioning cut off and his face split into a grin, “Mickey! How the heck are ya?”

“I’m good, great even.”

“Yeah he’s here, why?” Rich turned to look at Eddie and the colour immediately drained from his face. Eddie raised an eyebrow, asking for some explanation, but none was given. Rich looked terrified in a way Eddie had never seen. He had also never seen Rich stop and listen for so long without saying anything. For all the time he was silent he stared at Eddie as if he’d never seen him before.

“I’ll come,” Rich said eventually in a very un-Rich-like voice, the person on the other end said something, “you’ll have to ask him,” he told whoever was on the other end and, without explanation handed Eddie the phone. Eddie stared at him in confusion but although Rich was looking right at him he wasn’t seeing him. As soon as Eddie took the phone Rich ran upstairs.

“Hello?” Eddie said.

“Eddie? It’s Mike Hanlon.”

“Look is this some stupid prank?” Eddie demanded, “because it’s not funny.” He cringed as he heard the sound of Rich throwing up upstairs.

“No, Mike Hanlon, from Derry? 1989? You need to remember,” Mike sounded desperate.

A rush of memories hit Eddie all at once. A stuttering voice, a sense of belonging, absolute, unmatched terror, and a promise.

“No.” There was only one reason Mike could be calling.

“It’s back,” Mike confirmed, Eddie wasn’t exactly sure what ‘It’ was, he tried to remember but all that came to mind was terror. But he had a vivid memory of making the promise to come back, Bill Denbrough on one side, Richie Tozier on the other.

Richie. Rich. Trashmouth. Fuckface. _ Something _Tozier. He couldn’t breathe.

“Eddie?” Mikes voice pulled him back to reality. 

“Sorry,” Eddie managed to choke out trying desperately to sound calm.

“Me too,” Mike said, sounding genuine, “are you coming?”

“I will,” Eddie didn’t hesitate. He’d made a promise, after all. Mike thanked him and hung up, leaving Eddie in the deafening silence.

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

“Rich?” Eddie asked, cautiously knocking on the bathroom door.

“It’s alright I’m done,” Rich said, and Eddie pushed the door open, and handed Rich a glass of water which he gratefully took. He sat on the floor, deathly pale and shaking

“Not all at once,” Eddie warned. He watched Rich sip the water, trying to connect the loudmouth kid with dumb teeth and dumber glasses with his loudmouth of the past 15 years.

“Are you okay?” He asked once Rich finished his water.

“You bet your fur,” Rich joked weakly.

“Good,” Eddie said after a moment’s hesitation.

“Good. Are you coming to the losers club reunion? Killing It wouldn’t be the same without you,” Rich gave Eddie a half sort of smirk, which Eddie immediately saw through but he couldn’t help but smile back amused despite himself.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” he said, and Rich’s smile became a bit more genuine, “I’ll go check for flights, you call Sandy and Joe to see if they can take Zorp.”

Rich nodded.

“Hey Eds?” he asked, making Eddie turn around.

“Yes?” The serious look on Richie’s face was somehow the most unnerving thing Eddie had experienced that evening.

“I love you,” Richie said, so earnestly Eddie’s heart stuttered like it was the first time he’d said it.

“I know,” Eddie smirked and Rich looked at him with so much affection that Eddie’s heart ached.

“You’re a menace Eddie Kaspbrak.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so the next chapter should be significantly longer. I don't know when it'll be updated but it should be soon, I have my first draft done and just need to type it up and edit it.
> 
> Talk to me on tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/to-be-sentenced
> 
> I'm really bad at posting but please talk to me. I'm lonely.


	3. Eddie Kaspbrak tells the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK getting this up has felt like a marathon because this is a longer chapter! Hope you enjoy!

“Rich?” Eddie asked. They hadn’t said much to each other since leaving their bathroom, though Richie had grabbed his hand once they’d gotten out of the taxi and hadn’t let go. He was sitting next to Eddie in the airport waiting room, pretending to read a magazine.

“Hmm?” He asked, pretending to read the page he’d been looking at for the past ten minutes.

“Do you… Remember me?” Eddie felt stupid for asking.

“Of course I remember you, I’m not that old yet Eds,” Richie joked. Eddie glared at him, only just resisting the urge to hit him.

“Beep beep Fuckface,” he snapped. 

“Curse the day you came up with that,” Richie sighed and Eddie gave him a playful shove.

“That was the day we met!” He reminded him, reluctantly smiling. Richie took a deep breath and finally turned away from his magazine to look at Eddie.

“I remember you,” he said, “the kid with the inhaler and the over the top mother right?”

Eddie nodded, and suddenly Richie smiled, with a kind of unrestrained joy which reminded Eddie of the kid he had been.

“I had a massive thing for you,” he confessed.

“No way! You made fun of me the most!” Eddie said.

“Never heard of pulling pigtails Spaghetti?” Richie said, Eddie shook his head fondly and rested his head of Richie’s shoulder, “I take that to mean you didn’t have a crush on me then.”

“No fear.” Eddie did remember his stomach doing a dip whenever Richie called him Eds but it paled in comparison to the devoted puppy love he felt for Bill Denbrough with his stuttering voice and bright eyes.

“How did I forget you?” Eddie asked, not knowing exactly how to feel, his stomach churned with a mixture of guilt, awe, bemusement, fear, nostalgia and fear, “at that party, why didn’t I recognise you?”

“I don’t know,” Richie sounded as scared as Eddie felt, Eddie squeezed his hand gently, “the reason’s there but I can’t quite reach it you know?”

“I don’t think I want to know,” Eddie admitted.

**2000**

Eddie hated parties. As a kid he’d never been invited to any, not that he would have been allowed to go if he had, but as an adult he’d grown unfortunately familiar with them. Desperately trying to make himself one with the houseplant he was hiding behind, he sipped his wine and searched the crowd for his boss, avoiding eye contact with all the other guests, all he needed to do was prove he showed up, make polite small talk and then he could leave. He was just trying to figure out if he could steal any food to take home when he caught sight of a familiar head of blond hair, unfortunately she’d seen him too.

“Hey Eddie! I’ve been looking for you,” Sandy said, proving that he had not managed to become one with the house plant, “I should have known you’d be sulking in a corner.” Eddie laughed politely. He liked Sandy. Of all his colleagues she was probably the closest to being his friend, which also made her the closest thing he had. But he wanted desperately to go home and she was disrupting his plan. She also saw right through his laugh and rolled her eyes.

“Well, I can see you’re a bundle of laughs tonight,” she said, “anyway, that doesn’t matter because _ I _have just the thing to cheer you up.”

“Really?” Eddie asked, completely unconvinced.

“Yes ‘really’,” Sandy mocked him, “come on I have someone I want to introduce you to.” Before Eddie could protest she linked arms with him and began to drag him with her. Eddie didn’t even try to protest, once Sandy set her mind on something, it was almost impossible to stop her, so he just let her drag him into the kitchen.

Perched on the counter, swinging his legs like a teenager was a lanky man about Eddie’s age, laughing with a woman he kind of recognised.

“I’m surprised you didn’t deck her right there!” The man exclaimed, “to insult your brownies!” The woman giggled.

“I would have done if it weren’t in front of children,” she said, only half joking.

“It would teach them a valuable lesson, no one fucks with your brownies.” The woman, who Eddie suddenly recognised as his boss’s wife, a woman he had only ever seen be prim and proper arm candy, laughed fully, head tipped back and with her full body.

“Sometimes Richard, you have to be more sneaky about getting your own back,” she said with a wink, before leaving with a tray of food to serve.

“Gloria! You can’t leave me like that!” Richard called after her, it was only then that he seemed to notice Sandy and Eddie in the doorway.

“I thought you were going out to find refreshments not cute boys,” he sighed, for a moment he looked genuinely disappointed and then he cracked, and all at once the disappointed frown was replaced with a grin.

“This is the guy I told you about,” Sandy said, “the one who also grew up in Maine?”

“Sandy, Maine is a whole state-”

“Rich Tozier, meet Eddie Kaspbrak,” she announced over him. He looked Eddie up and down, and Eddie had to resist the strange urge to flatten his hair.

“Oh my God, Eddie! Is that you?” Rich exclaimed suddenly, “how have you been?” Eddie had never seen this man before in his life and looked at Rich with complete bafflement, trying to figure out where he was meant to know him from. Rich caught his eye and mouthed ‘play along.’ 

“I’m good! What about you?” He wasn’t at all convincing but Sandy was too busy being smug to notice.

“I told you,” She said to Rich who shared an amused look with Eddie over her shoulder, “so how do you two know each other?”

“School,” Rich lied easily, “I, the dashing hero I am, saved him from a bully, Henry, Henry…”

“Hocksetter,” Eddie contributed, “beep beep Richard you got your ass kicked and I had to patch you up. Some dashing hero.” Rich looked at him absolutely delighted and Eddie felt his face heat up. 

“Beep beep?” Sandy asked, bemused.

“An inside joke,” Eddie was amazed at how easily the lies were beginning to roll off of his tongue, “it meant shut up.” 

“I _ have _ to start using that,” Sandy laughed.

“You love my jokes,” Rich pouted.

“I do not.”

“Whatever you say,” Rich said, clearly unconvinced.

“Well, I’ve proven myself right, and that’s all I brought you here to do,” Sandy announced, “I’m going to see if I can find some rich man to buy me dinner next week!” Before she left she whispered something in Rich’s ear which made the top of his ears turn bright red. With a knowing smirk she went back to the main party.

Eddie didn’t dare catch Rich’s eye until Sandy was far out of earshot and that was fortunate since as soon as he did they both burst into laughter. Rich was the first to calm down.

“Sorry, but you looked like you were about to chew your own arm off to escape,” he said.

“She can be alot,” Eddie admitted, and then remembered that Sandy was Rich’s friends and hastily added, “not that she’s not great, she is!”

“Calm down, I know what you mean,” Rich said, sounding more amused than anything, something about his easy grin made Eddie feel at ease, “or don’t. You’re cute when you’re flustered.” Eddie felt his face heat up, which only made Rich’s smirk grow.

“So, erm… How do you know Sandy?” Eddie asked eager to move the attention off of himself.

“We used to date before she realised she was too smart for me,” Rich shrugged, “now we’re just friends, and now she uses me to keep creepy guys away from her. You work with her right?”

“Yeah.”

“Cute and smart then,” Rich said. Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Do you just flirt with everyone you meet?” He asked. Rich shrugged unashamed.

“Only if they’re as hot as you,” he openly leaned toward Eddie, staring at him so intently it was becoming unnerving rather than flirtatious. 

“Beep Beep Rich,” Eddie said without thinking and immediately they were both laughing again.

“Thanks for not making me look like a complete weirdo anyway,” Rich said once they’d calmed down, “not that Sandy doesn’t already know I’m a weirdo.”

“Well, it’s kind of hard to miss,” Eddie snorted, Rich put on a ridiculous pout

“You’re mean Edward Spagetwad,” he said.

“And _ you’re _ not really doing anything to prove me wrong here,” Eddie smirked, and Rich looked at him with a kind of bemused wonder that made Eddie’s heart stutter.

“This party’s lame,” Rich announced suddenly, “wanna ditch?”

“And go off with a weirdo I just met? Yeah, I really want to be an episode of dateline,” Eddie raised an eyebrow.

“Aw, live a little Eds, I have Sandy’s stamp of approval.”

A high pitched nag about being stupid and reckless and begging him to go home echoed in his head.

“Come on, I’ll even buy you dinner,” Rich said, and without really knowing why Eddie found himself shrugging.

“Alright,” he said, and Rich looked as if Eddie had just announced that he had won the lottery, he leapt off the counter clumsily, but somehow managed not to fall on his ass.

“I’ll go tell Sandy.”

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

“Maybe I should have mentioned,” Rich said, breaking the awkward silence they were walking in, “that I am broke, so we’re going to Mcdonalds.”

“Mcdonalds?”

“‘fraid partner,” Rich shrugged, “that's all I can afford.”

“I’ve never actually been,” Eddie confessed, his mother had never allowed it.

_ “It’s junk! Full of all sorts of chemicals! No Eddie-bear it’s not safe to eat there!” _

Rich was appalled by this.

“That’s very unamerican of you Kaspbrak,” he scolded, “well now we are definitely going there. I Edmund George Kaspbrak, am taking your Mcvirginity.” Eddie somehow managed to choke on absolutely nothing.

“What?” But Rich was already speed walking off.

“Come on, I know there’s one close!” He called, and Eddie was forced to jog slightly to keep up, “time to make an american citizen of you Eds.”

“Welcome,” Rich threw the restaurant doors open, “to the most american place on earth.”

The ‘most american place on earth’ was kind of gross. Everything, from the floors to the tables were made from plastic, in bright garish colours meant to appeal to children. Due to Rich’s entrance the few other customers were looking at them; a group of homeless looking people crowded around one coffee, a few of which waved at Rich,who smiled back, two teenagers and an exhausted looking woman, her toddler fast asleep on her lap, however they quickly seemed to realise they weren’t interesting. The staff didn’t even notice their arrival, and were all shuffling around like zombies, desperate to make it to the end of their shifts.

“I’ll order, you find a table,” Rich said, already taking off toward the counter. Eddie sat at the cleanest looking table he could find, which he was still reluctant to touch. This was not helped by the faux leather seats which felt slightly sticky.

_ “It’s dangerous Eddie, there are all sorts of diseases in those places.” _

Rich had gone to talk to the homeless looking people while he waited for their food.

_ “Not to mention the kind of people who eat there, you should avoid people like that, you never know what they’re going to do.” _

“Hey, are you okay?” Rich’s voice pulled him from his memories with jolt. It was only then that Eddie noticed he’d been digging his fingernails into his arms, something he was quick to hide under the table.

“Fine,” he said quickly, then looked down at the food, “that was quick.”

“They don’t call it fast food for nothing baby,” Rich said in a dumb voice with a wink. 

Eddie took a deep breath and then a bite of the burger Rich had ordered for him.

“Congratulations Eds, how does it feel to be an american citizen?” Rich asked.

“How does it feel to be a complete idiot?” Eddie shot back.

“Maybe you need to be around to think for me,” Rich said, leaning toward him to steal some fries.

“No thanks, I already have a full time job,” Eddie slapped Rich’s hands away, ignoring the puppy dog eyes the other man then put on.

“What do you do?”

“I’m an engineer, I work with designers to make sure what they’re working on is actually doable.”

“That’s cool,” Rich said so genuinely it took Eddie by surprise.

“Yeah,” he agreed, “I mean it’s still early so I’m mostly just checking work but I’m hoping eventually they’ll start putting me on projects of my own-” Rich let him ramble on that way, asking questions at all the right points to keep the conversation going. They fell into an easy dynamic, talking and laughing almost as if they’d known each other for years.

“What about you?” Eddie eventually asked, painfully aware of how long he’d been talking, “what do you do?”

“I work at a coffee shop, and pick up extra shifts bartending at a place I know the owner sometimes,” Rich admitted.

“Oh.”

“I mean I tried being a legitimate starving artist but it turns out morals are much easier to give up than food so,” Rich shrugged.

“No I didn’t mean there was anything wrong with working in a coffee shop,” Eddie denied, he couldn’t really judge, his mother had made sure he’d never had to work a retail job and had been able to do an internship which turned into a job.

“It’s alright, I get it. Pretty much all my friends my age are beginning to get proper adult jobs and I’m still getting yelled at by mean old ladies.”

“Mean old ladies?” Eddie snorted.

“Don’t laugh!” Rich pointed an accusatory fry at him, “old ladies can be scary!”

“I’m sure,” Eddie mocked.

“You’re mean.”

“Meaner than the old ladies?”

“Definitely,” Rich said, though he was laughing himself by that point. Eddie couldn’t help but watch him as he did, his whole face lit up when he laughed and it made him look so alive that it made you want to laugh with him and share it.

“So what do you want to do?” Eddie asked.

“Hmm?”

“If you’re not passionate about getting yelled at by old ladies, what are you passionate about?” Eddie repeated himself.

“Who says I’m not passionate about getting yelled at by old ladies? Really gets me going,” Rich joked but Eddie didn’t laugh, and instead just rolled his eyes.

“Beep Beep Rich.”

“Fine,” Rich sighed, suddenly fascinated by his shoes, “I want to do comedy.” Eddie took a moment to consider this and that was all the time Rich needed to begin rambling.

“I know it’s dumb, but at the moment I make enough to live so I figure I’m at least in a good position to at least try? God, I’m your typical ‘came to NYC to make it big’ idiot, I mean if this was a rom-com I’d be the main love interest, not that I’m not the main love interest in real life-”

“I can see that,” Eddie, who had been blocking out Rich’s talking, said, “You in comedy.” 

“Really?” Eddie couldn’t help but smirk when he saw Rich was blushing, “that’s just because you haven’t had enough time to get bored of me yet.”

“It’s really not. I’ve already had enough time to get bored of you.” This startled a laugh out of Rich, and soon enough Eddie found himself laughing as well.

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

An hour later they began to make their way to the nearest subway station, before they left though Rich stopped to chat with the homeless people who had waved at him when they’d arrived.

“How do you know them?” Eddie asked once Rich met him outside.

“The shop I work at is 24 hours so they come in there to hang out sometimes,” Rich told him, “I give them whatever food I’ve been told to throw away. Lucas especially is a really good guy, pretty funny, super into books and movies and stuff, massive nerd.”

“That’s really nice,” Eddie said, and Rich seemed surprised by this.

“I mean they’d just throw it out anyway, plus night shifts can get super boring,” he shrugged. They walked side by side in silence for a while, until Rich asked,

“Hey, who do you think would win in a fight, a shark or a bear?”

They were still arguing about it when they got off the subway and to the point where their paths home split.

“You are absolutely wrong!” Eddie argued, “the bear is like the swiss army knife of predators, it can kick ass in any setting!” Rich just laughed.

“Agree to disagree?”

“No! I want you to admit that you’re wrong!” Eddie told him and Rich ruffled his hair.

“You’re so cute when you’re angry,” he cooed, Eddie pushed him away.

“Get lost Fuckface!” He said hoping Rich hadn’t caught his blush.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” Rich asked. Eddie was so confused by this he had to stop in the middle of the street.

“Why would you walk me home?” He asked.

“Well what kind of date would I be if I didn’t?” Eddie couldn’t tell if Rich was joking or not but panic began to rise in his throat like vomit.

“This wasn’t a date,” he said firmly. Rich was apparently completely oblivious to his tone.

“Oh right! A date to Mcdonalds? You deserve far better, do you have a pen?”

“I…” Eddie stammered, “no.”

“Oh. Well Sandy has my number if you want to set up a proper date, or drop by the Daily Grind on 233rd Street.”

Rich gave an enthusiastic wave and began heading home, leaving Eddie alone.

All the way back to his apartment Eddie ran through the events of that evening in his head, trying to figure out what the fuck happened. 

It wasn’t as if he was in denial, he knew that he was gay. He’d liked men before and men had liked him before, just… never like that. Eddie was used to hookups in dark dorm rooms, and drunken fumblings at clubs that were never talked about again, not someone openly asking him on a date.

_ “Dirty sinners, what they do goes against God.” _

He shook the thought from his head, and fell into a reluctant sleep. It wasn’t as if he was ever going to have to see Rich again after all.

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

Eddie had underestimated how nosey Sandy was and was therefore surprised to be accosted by her the next day at work. She immediately made herself comfortable sitting on his desk like she owned it.

“Did you have a good time Saturday night?”

“It was fine,” Eddie said, not looking away from his work.

“Did you and Rich catch up?” Eddie didn’t like what the way she said ‘catch up’ implied.

“It was fine,” Eddie repeated.

“Thrilling,” Sandy said dryly, “very detailed.” Eddie sighed and turned to face her.

“Look Sandy, you obviously know what you want to hear, so why don’t you just tell me and I can get back to work?” He snapped.

“Jesus, what crawled up your ass and died?” Sandy hissed back, “I was just trying to make conversation.”

“No you weren’t. You clearly already know what you want to hear, so why are you even bothering to ask?” This made Sandy roll her eyes and she hopped off of his desk.

“Whatever Eddie,” she said. As soon as she stormed off Eddie felt the guilt settle in his stomach, but he shook his head and tried to focus back on his work, figuring she’d be over it by lunch.

Sandy was not over it by lunch. Eddie didn’t realise how little he knew the other people he worked with until Sandy sat with another group, away from their usual table and he had no idea where to sit. He ended up awkwardly sat at the end of their usual table with no one to talk to. She also brushed him off when he tried to talk to her at the end of the day. In an attempt to hold his dignity, he resolved to speak to her the next day.

Unfortunately as stubborn as Eddie was he was more anxious, and was unable to stop the argument from repeating in his mind, and that evening he found himself dialing her number.

“Hello?” A voice that was definitely not Sandy answered.

“Erm, is Sandy there?” Eddie asked, praying she was, if he had dialed the wrong number he would have to curl up and die and then Sandy would never get her apology.

“Hiya Shortstack,” Eddie recognised ‘Not Sandy’ as Rich and only just resisted the urge to slam his head into a brick wall.

“Hi,” he said weakly, “is Sandy there?”

“Yeah, she’s yelling at me right now,” Rich said flippantly, “how are you Eddie-Spaghetti?” Eddie had no idea how to answer that, fortunately, he was saved when Rich and Sandy began to fight over the phone.

“-he called me not you! Get lost dickhead! Hi Eddie!” Eddie was taken aback by how normal and cheerful she sounded, “what’s up?”

“I erm… Just wanted to apologise for snapping at you today.”

“Oh that’s alright,” Sandy said dismissively, “I shouldn’t have pushed. Is that all?”

“Yes?”

“Cool, -No Rich he called to talk to me, get lost- see you tomorrow then.” 

“Oh. Yeah. Bye then,” Eddie said about to hang up.

“-I’m asking- Look, can I give Rich your number? He won’t stop being a pain in the ass about it!” The last part was clearly directed at Rich who Eddie assumed was hovering nearby.

“No,” Eddie said, slightly panicked at the idea.

“Okay…” Sandy said, “bye then.” Eddie hung up and tried to ignore the hammering in his chest.

“Hey,” when Sandy sat down next to him at lunch the next day she was clearly a woman on a mission.

“Hi?” Eddie said cautiously. Sandy cut straight to the chase.

“Look, do you like Rich or not? I know it’s super middle-school for to ask for him, but for my own sanity I need to know,” she said.

“No, I don’t like him like that,” Eddie hissed, making sure no one was listening.

“You know it's fine if you're into guys right? No one’s judging,” Sandy said.

“I’m not,” Eddie denied, cringing at how desperate he sounded, Sandy just shrugged.

“Alright,” she said, “it’s a shame though, he really likes you. Oh well, I’ll tell him to back off.” That was the last thing she said on the matter.

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

The next few days were relatively normal, but the issue of Rich crawled under Eddie’s skin like an itch you couldn’t reach. Eddie had had more than enough of this when a familiar voice greeted him in the hallway.

“Hi Eddie,” Myra said.

“Hi Myra, how are you?”

Eddie considered Myra as she spoke, half listening. She was pretty in a plain sort of way, nice enough and a great cook. Most importantly she was a woman who was interested in him.

“Myra?” He asked once she finished talking, “do you want to go out sometime?” Eddie felt a little bad when her face immediately lit up.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun, when?”

“I don’t…” Eddie struggled, wishing he’d practiced the interaction in the shower before going for it.

“I’m free tomorrow night?” Myra prompted.

“Tomorrow at 7 then?” Eddie suggested, “we could go for coffee?”

“Apple-so-lutely,” Myra giggled, “I know a great place.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow then,” Eddie said, waving.

“Tomorrow,” She said.

That was the first night Eddie’s apartment began to feel suffocating.

“It’s a little independant shop,” Myra explained the next evening as she lead him to the coffee shop she’d chosen, “it does the best blueberry muffins I’ve ever had.”

“Sounds good,” Eddie said, and he meant it, until they were close enough to read the shop’s name.

‘The Daily Grind’ because of course. And, because the universe clearly despised him the one worker Eddie knew was there.

“Are you okay?” Myra asked, seeing Eddie’s hesitation.

"Of course. Let’s go.”

"Hi Rich,” Myra said as soon as they entered and Eddie had to stop himself from groaning, how did Rich know everyone?

“Hey Myra,” Rich was counting the money in the cash register and hadn’t looked up when they’d entered, “I thought today was your night off, or have they called you in anyway?” He did an impression of someone Eddie had never met, but Myra seemed to find hilarious, “I don’t care if you have gotten your leg bitten off, you’re coming into work! I hired you and I will fire you!”

“Beatrice is not that bad,” Myra laughed, and Rich finally looked up.

“Not that- Myra she tried to fire _ me _ once!”

“She didn’t!”

“Cross my heart and hope to die, if she doesn’t kill me first,” Rich promised her, it was only then that he seemed to notice Eddie behind her, “oh hi.”

Eddie gave him an awkward wave.

“Do you two know each other?” Myra asked. Amazingly small city, Eddie thought bitterly, too small.

“We met at a party,” Eddie he told her shortly.

“Right. What are you doing here anyway?” He asked Myra who beamed.

“I’m on a date,” she said, smiling at Eddie and completely missing the tension between him and Rich. Rich pouted at her.

“And here I was thinking we had something special,” he joked, but any genuineness to his smile was gone, replaced with a tight lipped customer service smile.

“Sorry Rich,” Myra laughed and Rich waved her off.

“What can I get you guys?”

Eddie just ordered what Myra did, partly because he had never been to the shop before, and partly because he wanted to get from the awkwardness at the counter.

“Did something happen between you two?” Myra asked once they sat down, maybe she had picked up on the awkwardness. Eddie just gave her a half sort of shrug.

“I don’t know,” he said, he could tell Myra was about to ask more questions so he asked, “so where do you work?”

Myra began to talk about her job as a nurse, Eddie tried to listen and resist the urge to turn to see if Rich was back at the front counter.

“Is he treating you right Myra?” Rich joked as he served them, “just tell me if he’s not and I’ll take care of it.” He winked at her and Myra giggled.

“He’s good so far,” she assured him, Rich gave a half sort of bow and disappeared into the back again.

“Is he always like that?” Eddie asked once he was out of earshot.

“Yeah most the time,” Myra said, “I’ve been coming here since I started at St James so I’ve gotten used to him.”

“So he flirts with everyone?” Eddie said before he could stop himself.

“Pretty much,” Myra shrugged. Eddie felt an odd kind of disappointment but he shook it off and tried to refocus on the date he was on.

The rest of the date, Eddie thought, went well. Although Myra looked inescapably like his mother at that age, Eddie quickly found personality wise they were not at all similar. Where his mother had pretended to be caring to be manipulative Myra was genuinely sweet and Eddie enjoyed spending time with her. As they began to walk back Eddie thought they could really make it work, despite the obvious flaw.

“Oh!” Myra exclaimed suddenly, “I forgot my coat.”

“I’ll go and get it,” Eddie volunteered, Myra smiled.

“What a gentleman,” she teased, “I’ll wait here.”

Unfortunately, and because of course he was, Rich was clearing their table when Eddie came back in.

“Myra forgot her coat,” Eddie told him stupidly.

“I noticed,” Rich said in a forced cheerful voice, “I guess that’s a firm no on that second date then?”

“Yes,” Eddie took the coat, Rich gave him a look, and despite him barley knowing him Eddie was certain Rich could see right through him.

“Alright,” Rich said eventually, “just don’t lead Myra on, she doesn’t deserve that.”

“I’m not leading her on, I’m genuinely interested in her,” Eddie snapped.

“Okay.”

“I am! Look I’m sorry if you thought we had something but I didn’t lead you on, and I’m not leading Myra on either!” Rich rolled his eyes.

“I said okay!” He said and tried to walk away with the plates and mugs, but Eddie grabbed his arm to stop him. Rich swore spectacularly as he jumped and dropped the things he was carrying onto the floor, breaking the plates.

“What the fuck Eddie?” He demanded, turning to Eddie who was still holding his arm, “for fucks sake, what?”

“I wanted to know what you meant by that,” Eddie said, but all the fire in his voice was gone. Rich snatched his arm back angrily.

“Nothing! I just happen to think Myra is a nice person and I don’t want her to get hurt!” He snapped back, “I’m not obsessed with you, get over yourself! And if you’re done breaking shit get out!” He stormed into the back with the last word, leaving Eddie alone in the shop. 

Are you okay?” Myra asked as soon as he got back.

“Fine,” Eddie said shortly, Myra didn’t look convinced at all, but dropped the subject. They headed back to their apartment building in an awkward silence. It wasn’t until they were a block away that Eddie got the nerve to speak again.

“So I had fun,” he stated.

“Yeah me too,” Myra said.

“So do you wanna do this again sometime?” Eddie asked, Myra looked at him, almost with pity.

“I don’t think so,” she said gently, “I really did have a good time, but I don’t think we should go out again.”

Eddie stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

“Why?” He asked, “you said you had a good time.”

“I did,” Myra assured him, “but there’s just no chemistry between us.”

She was right and Eddie knew it.

“There is,” he tried, “we just need to give it some time!” Myra sighed.

“Kiss me,” she said.

“I’m sorry?”

“Just-” Myra gave up and grabbed Eddie by his shirt collar and kissed him. The kiss was lacking any sort of direction, and Eddie spent most of the few seconds it was happening wondering what to do with his hands.

“See?” Myra said, breaking away, “there’s nothing there.” Eddie had to accept defeat, there was no way he could argue with that.

“I’m making lasagne tomorrow if you want to come over,” Myra said once they were moving again, “as a friend.” She added hastily when she saw Eddie looked confused.

“Really?” Eddie asked.

“Sure, I did have a good time, and I’m pretty sure you haven’t had a home cooked meal since I stopped bringing them,” Myra teased.

“Yeah, sounds good,” Eddie said, still not entirely sure what had happened between them that evening, together they walked up the stairs until they came to their doors.

“See you tomorrow then,” Myra said cheerily, “don’t forget!”

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

Eddie had stopped being able to sleep. The apartment seemed smaller by the day and he was unable to stay there for long without the distinct feeling someone was watching him. The only sleep he’d gotten was the few snatched hours in his own bed, and whenever he could find an excuse to sleep on Myra’s couch. Both she and Sandy had noticed his state, but while Myra had blamed it on grief and been understanding, Sandy had first teased him relentlessly about it and then panicked and began begging him to see a doctor. Eventually he snapped at her to stop, partly out of exhaustion, mostly because she was beginning to sound like his mother. He spent most of his nights in The Daily Grind, half hoping Rich would be working, and half praying that he wouldn’t be. He wasn’t. The night staff that were there couldn’t have been less interested in him and were perfectly happy to leave him alone to drink irresponsible amounts of caffeine. Eddie had grown accustomed to it.

So, of course, on a random Wednesday when Eddie’s feet carried him there at 2am, neither of them were working.

He heard Richie before he saw him. He was singing along to some pop song Eddie didn’t recognise into a mop. He turned bright red when Eddie walked in.

“Shit! I mean hi!” he managed, leaping behind the counter, “what can I get you?”

“One black coffee please.”

“Only if you promise not to break the cup this time,” Rich said, and Eddie immediately felt his own face heat up. 

“I am so sorry about that,” he said, stumbling over his words, but Rich waved him off.

“Relax it was a joke,” he said, “we needed to replace them anyway.” Eddie was surprised by how easy going Rich was about it, until he added, “plus Myra said you’re going through some shit.” Before Eddie could deny it, Rich disappeared into the back to make his drink, so Eddie took his usual seat. He was surprised when Rich came out with two mugs and sat down across from him.

“So what’s up?” He asked immediately. Eddie pretended to take a sip of his coffee, more out of something to do than anything as it was too hot to drink.

“Who says there’s anything wrong?” he said.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I suppose you’ve just have a 3am meeting to get to?” Rich rolled his eyes, “look you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to-”

“My mom died a few months ago and my apartment has felt weird since and now it’s gotten to the point where I can’t sleep.” The words came out like vomit, all at once with a feeling of shaky relief once it was out. For once, Rich was silent.

“Shit. I’m sorry, were you close?” He asked eventually. Eddie gave a non-committal half shrug, not sure how to answer that.

“I get that. Me and my Mom fight like crazy whenever we’re in the same house, but when I’m away I miss her like crazy,” Rich said, “I’m pretty sure she’d psychic, she always calls me when I’m about to do something stupid and talks me out of it.”

“That’s probably just coincidence, I mean, you’re constantly doing something stupid,” Eddie pointed out, Rich laughed and Eddie couldn’t help but smile back.

“Touche Kaspbrak,” Rich said and Eddie took a deep sip of his coffee.

“Our relationship was… complicated,” he said.

“Days of Our Lives complicated or Norman Bates complicated?” Rich wanted to know, he meant it as a joke, but Eddie didn’t laugh.

“A bit of both I guess,” he admitted instead, “She loved me. I know she loved me, but she was obsessed with keeping me safe, she wouldn’t let me do anything because she thought I was too ‘fragile’. I take five pills every morning because of her.”

Rich let out a low whistle.

“After she died I promised myself I was going to stop, stop taking the pills, start doing all the things she didn’t want me to, but…”

Eddie had no idea why he was telling Rich any of this, and yet he didn’t want to stop.

“But?” Rich prompted.

“But I didn’t. I couldn’t! Despite everything I didn’t want to let her down.” Out loud it sounded even stupider than it had in his head, but Rich was nodding.

“Makes sense,” he said.

“Does it?” 

“Sure, you can’t just break that kind of conditioning right away you’ve got to give yourself time. It’s like if I was going to give up smoking trying to go cold turkey would be almost impossible,” Rich shrugged.

“That’s… Actually a good point,” Eddie said.

“Alright there’s no need to sound so surprised,” Rich laughed.

“Oh, I didn’t-”

“It’s alright,” Rich assured him, “but you don’t spend three years bartending without learning a few things.”

An awkward silence passed between them that seemed to last decades. Eddie was almost certain that children were born, had their own children, lived and died in that silence. The only reason he couldn’t be certain is because the radio was still playing and it actually lasted the length of one song. It only took the opening chords of the next song for Rich to leap up.

“Holy shit, I love this song!” he exclaimed.

“What are you? A middle aged woman?” Eddie snorted, but Rich was no longer paying attention, and instead was grabbing his mic/mop again.

“No Eds, I’m a man of good-” he stopped abruptly and, to Eddie’s horror, but not his surprise, began to sing.

_ “Friday nights and the lights are low,” _ he had a good voice, something Eddie hadn’t expected, “ _ looking out for a place to go. _”

Rich was unashamedly putting on a show, making sure Eddie was watching as he sang into, and danced around his mop.

_ “Where they play the right music, getting in the swing, you’ve come to look for a king, _” Rich looked delighted when Eddie laughed at his dorky dance moves and began to clap in time with the music, eagerly lapping up the attention.

_ “Anybody could be that guy.” _

Rich abandoned his mop and began to move closer to Eddie.

_ “Night is young and the music’s high!” _

Closer.

_ “With a bit of rock music-” _

Closer. Eddie had a horrible feeling he knew where this was going.

_ “-everything is fine-” _

There was no escaping it, all he could do was hold onto his seat and hope.

_ “-your in the mood to dance!” _

Rich held out his hands and Eddie shook his head. Then, Rich got that frown. The ‘get up and dance’ frown. Hell was full of grandmothers and aged aunts with that same frown.”

_ “And when you get the chance!” _

Rich pulled Eddie to his feet with ease, he obviously had demonic intervention.

_ “You are the dancing queen!” _

Both the song and Rich exploded, Rich pulled Eddie into a space and began to dance around him.

_ “Young and sweet only seventeen!” _

“Come on Eddie you know you know it!” Rich cheered between lines. Realising that he was not going to let it go Eddie joined in, bobbing with Rich in time to the music.

_ “Dancing queen! Feel the beat of the tambourine! Oh yeah!” _

Rich’s joy was infectious and soon enough Eddie found himself swept along with it.

_ “You can dance! You can jive!” _

Rich grabbed Eddie’s hands and began to spin wildly with him.

_ “Having the time of your life!” _

Without warning, Eddie let Rich go, laughing as he fell to the floor and flipped him off.

_ “See that girl!” _

He helped Rich up.

_ “Watch that scene!” _

Despite everything Rich was still singing, his smile, his eyes, his body, every part of him seemed so alive that Eddie swore if he touched him he would get an electric shock.

_ “Dig in the Dancing Queen!” _

Everything seemed to slow down and speed up at the same time. Eddie felt like he was watching in slow motion as Rich sang the last note. He looked ridiculous, head thrown back, arms in the air, but he knew it, and he was enjoying it. It was the kind of joy that made you feel invincible, and Eddie had been infected by it.

Then, everything sped up and before he knew it, Eddie had his eyes closed tight and his lips of Rich’s. It took a moment but Rich’s lips soon caught up. The kiss had a kind of electricity that Eddie had never felt with anyone before, it fizzed and crackled, creating a kind of connection between them. It was easy to lean into, and Eddie let it lead him. Then, Rich’s brain caught up with what was going on and he broke away so suddenly Eddie could feel the connection between them snap.

“You said you weren’t interested,” Rich breathed, “you made it very clear.”

“I-” Eddie struggled, making noises but not saying anything, “can you turn the music off?” He managed eventually. Rich went to do so and Eddie returned to his table, his head spinning and his hands shaking. He had no idea what he was going to say, or why he’d done it, but he was certain that he didn’t need his coffee anymore, the adrenaline made him feel as if he’d drank five cups. Eventually, the music stopped and Rich returned.

“You’ve got to explain this to me Eds,” he said, sitting crossed legged in his chair, “because I am so fucking confused.” Eddie opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no words came. Rich sighed.

“How about we play 20 questions?” He suggested, “You ask me a question and I ask you a question.” Eddie nodded.

“Alright, Edward Kaspbrak,” Rich pretended to talk into his microphone, “are you a fully licensed homosexual?” For a moment, Eddie was tempted to lie, but it was more than pointless to try.

“Yes,” He said, Rich waited expectantly and Eddie realised he was meant to ask something back, “Oh! Do your parents know you like men that way?”

“Yeah,” Rich shrugged, “I think I almost gave The Old Man a heart attack when he found out, I don’t think they fully understand it, but they try.”

“That’s nice,” Eddie said, “they sound nice.”

“Yeah they were hippie types so they were always pretty cool, I got lucky, apart from getting my Pa’s shit eyesight,” Rich joked, “when did you know you were gay?” Eddie had to think about that one.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, he’d never really thought about it before, he just remembered being sure, the details of how he came to that conclusion were hazy, though red hair and freckles stuck out to him for some reason.

“What about you?” Eddie asked Rich.

“Dunno,” Rich said, “I don’t think I had a big reveal moment, it was always just sort of ‘Man girls are hot, man guys are hot too!’ I do remember some big brown eyes, sort of like yours.” An odd, and unreadable expression crossed Rich’s face, but as soon as it appeared it was gone, replaced with his usual lopsided grin.

“Guess I have a type, ay Bambi?” Eddie didn’t dignify that with a response, and tried to hide his smile.

“If you knew you were gay, and presumably interested, why have you been so weird?” There it was, Rich had hit the million dollar question. 

“I was scared,” Eddie said. It was somehow far too simple an answer while being the most honest one he could give. Rich nodded and Eddie felt that he really did understand.

“What time do you finish?” Eddie asked.

“Five,” Rich told him, “why?”

“Can I stay here until then?” Eddie said, the simple question made Rich absolutely beam.

“Of course, you’re a paying customer after all,” he said with a wink.

They spent the remaining hours talking about everything and nothing, cleaning, serving the very few customers who came in, and playing stupid games Rich made up, and which Eddie won, no matter what Rich said. At five when the morning girl came freeing Rich they left together, still laughing.

“So…” Rich said, he was blushing like crazy, which made Eddie oddly happy. He handed Rich a napkin with his number written on it.

“ Let’s meet at a normal time next time?” He suggested.

“Next time? Oh right! Next time!” Rich looked so enthusiastic, Eddie pecked him on the cheek.

“Right, well see you next time then Edster!” Rich said, still bright red.

“Not if you keep calling me Edster!” Eddie called after to Rich who was already walking away.

“Sure thing Tedmund!”

Eddie sighed and set off back to his own apartment, certain he had just made what would either be the worst or the best decision of his life. He had a horrible feeling it would be a mix of both. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought! Remember, one comment= one less tear from the author!


	4. Richie Tozier Goes Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its been a long wait between updates (if anyone has even been waiting) but I'm back! I've had alot on in recent weeks but it's all settling down now so hopefully I can get this fic done! ANYWAY I hope you enjoy the chapter

Richie jolted as someone shook him awake, still half in his dream (memory?) he expected the werewolf or even Georgie. Instead it was Eddie, adult Eddie looking at him with concern. The tightening in his chest lessened slightly, but he couldn’t stop himself from grabbing Eddie’s hand. Solid. He was real.

“We’re here,” Eddie told him gently, the rest of the plane were already on their feet and collecting their luggage. Richie groaned, there was an ache in his neck from sleeping in a weird position, he tried to roll it out, but had no luck.

“How far away is the fair town of Derry?” He asked.

“A two hour drive,” Eddie was already stood up, “we should get there at about midnight.” He tossed Richie a bag.

“Make yourself useful,” he said. Richie sighed and forced himself to smile.

“What would you do without me?” He joked, but his heart wasn’t in it.

“Did you remember anything else?” Eddie asked as they made their way through the airport, Richie shuddered at the thought of the vivid childhood memories he’d rediscovered on the flight.

“Some stuff,” he admitted, then grabbed Eddie’s hand, “come on, let’s talk about something normal.” Eddie looked at him as if he was insane.

“Normal? Nothing’s normal anymore!” Richie squeezed his hand, reassuringly.

“Then let’s at least pretend while we still can,” he said. Suddenly, he began to drag Eddie toward the small shop within the airport.

“Come on, let’s get snacks, we haven’t eaten since lunch and I’m starving!” Eddie turned to glare at him and Richie could tell he was about to snap.

“Eds,” he said before Eddie got the chance, he lifted his hands to cup his face, forcing Eddie to look at him, “there’s nothing we can do about Derry until we get there, until then let’s just make the best of it. Okay?”

“Okay.” Eddie still didn’t look entirely convinced, but when Richie moved his hands he leant into his side.

“Awesome,” he dragged Eddie into the store, “get anything you want, it’s on me!” he winked and walked off to buy drinks.

“We share a bank account asshole!” Eddie called after him, the smile in his voice halved the weight on Richie’s chest. 

They dumped a ridiculous amount of junk food onto the counter and the girl working there flashed her company mandated customer service smile at them.

“Will that be all?” She asked. Richie glanced longingly at the cigarette packs behind her. He wanted one in a way he hadn’t wanted one in years, but he put an oreo in his mouth instead.

“No thanks,” Eddie said for them, Richie could feel his eyes on him as he paid, but stubbornly ignored the concern.

As soon as they got into the car Richie attached his phone, turning the speakers up loud enough to block any thoughts. He found ‘Jams for my Spaghetti’ which had started as a mix CD he’s made for Eddie in the early months of dating, it was full of cheesy songs he’d thought were romantic when he was 25, most of which were terrible. He barely listened to it, but it had had a permanent place in his music collection ever since.

“Jesus Fuckface, are you trying to deafen me?” Eddie demanded, but Richie sang over him, he could sing, when he wanted to, but he wasn’t really trying, instead he was focused on performing over the top impressions of the singers. Eddie laughed and told him he was terrible. The rest of the journey was spent with them eating their junk food and singing along. Although he knew the majority of them were bad but he loved every one of them.

The mood immediately dropped when they saw the sign for Derry, the music began to feel more mocking than comforting. Richie went to cut it off when a deer leapt into the road from nowhere. Eddie made a sudden stop, throwing both of them forward. It looked right at them, eyes 

illuminated in the headlights, then jumped off. Fortunately, there was no one else on the road, so Eddie could pause to catch his breath. 

“Home sweet home,” Richie said bitterly, “ay Eds?”

“Don’t call me Eds,” Eddie snapped, surprising himself.

“Right, you hated that didn’t you?” Richie remembered, and then said in an impression of Eddie as a child, “don’t call me Eds you _ know _I hate it!” He glanced at Eddie expecting him to laugh, and noticed that he was digging his nails into his palms. Gently, he took his hand.

“I didn’t- I don’t-” Eddie groaned in frustration, “I never hated it when you called me Eds.” Richie smirked.

“You’re going to regret saying that,” he said, then let go of Eddie’s hands, “you ready to go?” Eddie nodded, and started the car up again.

“Do you know where you’re going?” Richie asked.

“I always know where I’m going,” Eddie said, and despite the town being one both of them only half remembered Richie believed him. Eddie never got lost, not in New York, not in LA, not in London, not even- Richie yet again reached a memory he wasn’t yet allowed to see. It was as if his fingers were scraping at it but he just couldn’t get a grip.

He wanted to get out of Derry.

He wanted it to be over.

He wanted things to make sense.

He wanted a cigarette. 

**2000**

“I can’t believe you got us kicked out of a bowling alley!” Eddie laughed.

“‘Sirs I am going to have to ask you to leave, you are being disruptive and are bothering others’” Rich mocked the nasally sounding manager, beaming when it made Eddie laugh even harder.

“It was all you! I had nothing to do with it,” he protested.

“Me! You’re the one who got a bowling ball stuck halfway down the lane!”

“So? You didn’t have to send three after it!”

They looked at each other and burst into laughter again. They were on their way back to Rich’s apartment, hands brushing against each other as they walked side by side.

“I don’t know, I think it was your blatant cheating, pushing me over the fault line” Rich teased.

“That’s a legitimate tactic! You’re just mad that you didn’t think of it first!” Eddie shot back.

“Me, cheat? Never!” 

“Oh so throwing the ball before I get a chance isn’t cheating?” Eddie said, they had reached Rich’s apartment building, and Eddie had turned to him, a stupid smug smile on his face. Rich tried to kiss it off, but was unsuccessful, when they broke apart it was as smug as ever. 

“So…” Eddie began. He looked unfairly handsome in the pale lighting of Rich’s apartment building, and Rich was too busy staring at his lips to hear what he was saying.

“Huh?” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“I said I had a good time,” he repeated.

“Oh! Yeah! Me too!” Rich said. Eddie waited, clearly expecting more, so Rich did what he did best, and began to talk, “really good time, we should do it again sometime. Yep-”

Eddie cut him off with another kiss, one that ran far hotter than the last, and was hard enough to leave it lingering on Rich’s lips. Again, Eddie waited.

“So I’ll call you?” Rich said.

“Actually, I’m kind of thirsty,” Eddie tried.

“Oh, well there’s a twenty four hour walmart only two blocks away,” Rich told him, Eddie sighed, chewing his lip in irritation.

“I don’t want this night to end,” he said, Rich thought that was a bit cheesy, but hey who was he to judge?

“I mean… We could go to the Walmart now together, I could eat,” he shrugged. 

“For fu- Invite me in Fuckface!” Eddie finally snapped.

Oh.

Oh!

“Oh right!” Rich put on a stupid, douchebag voice, “you wanna come in?” He winked and Eddie pulled a face.

“No,” he laughed, but kissed Rich again, so Rich lead him to his apartment.

He had never been as aware of his apartment as he was when he invited Eddie in. It had been advertised as a studio, but even that was a generous, the kitchen and sitting room were crowded into a room about the size of the average motel room. This was not helped by the amount of clutter in it.

“Sorry about…” Rich was unable to pick one thing, “the whole apartment really.” Eddie wandered the space critically. 

“Do you live like this?” He asked. Rich was reluctant to admit that he did, especially as the apartment was generally worse than it was that evening.

“Yeah? I mean it’s usually just somewhere to sleep and stop between shifts,” he shrugged.

“Then how did it get so messy?” Rich didn’t have an answer to that.

“Do you want a coffee?” He asked instead.

“Yeah, we’re going to need it,” Eddie said. Rich smirked, he liked the sound of that.

It turned out they did need coffee, just not for the reason Rich thought. As soon as they were made Eddie began to tidy, forcing Rich to join in by threatening to throw things away if he didn’t. Rich wanted to protest, he didn’t like cleaning and it was certainly not how he had envisioned the evening, but Eddie was so enthusiastic (in his own dry, irritated way) that he couldn’t bring himself to. An hour later the caffeine wore off and even Eddie was ready to call it a night.

“Well that’s made a dent in it anyway,” he said, surveying his work.

“I’d hope so,” Rich collapsed onto the couch, “we’ve been at it for an hour.” Eddie sat down next to him, suddenly embarrassed.

“Sorry, I’m kinda weird about things being clean,” he said, but Rich shrugged him off.

“Nah, it needed it,” he assured him, “besides, it was kind of cute,” he added, making Eddie smile shyly. 

“Maybe we could go to your place next time?” Rich suggested, but as soon as he did Eddie went stiff against him.

“No.”

“Why? Do you have a nosy roommate or something?” Rich teased. Eddie gave an awkward, clearly forced laugh and stood up.

“Something like that,” he said, “I’ve got to go.”

“Oh,” Rich tried, and failed, to keep the disappointment out of his voice, “past your bedtime?”

“I had a good time,” Eddie said, “I’ll give you a call so we can set up another date?” Rich grabbed his hands and pulled him toward him.

“That sounds very official,” he said, “are you sure you can fit me in Mr Kaspbrak?” Eddie rolled his eyes but Rich could see he was fighting off a smile.

“I guess you’ll have to wait and see,” he said, giving Rich one last kiss before leaving. Rich watched him go with the stupidest smile on his face.

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

“Go on then,” Sandy sighed, sounding very put upon.

“What?” They were hanging out at her apartment as they did every monday, not watching whatever was playing on the TV.

“You clearly want to talk about it,” Sandy said, “so just get on with it.”

“I haven’t even mentioned Eddie!” Rich protested but Sandy just rolled her eyes.

“Neither have I, and yet you know exactly what I’m talking about, so go on tell me about your date.”

“Well, if you insist,” Rich said and immediately launched into an overly detailed account of their bowling game. Sandy made noises at the right time, but she was only half listening, mostly focused on painting her nails.

“-and then we went back to my place-” _ that _made Sandy pay attention.

“What? Why didn’t you lead with that?” She demanded, kicking him.

“Ow!”

“You really thought telling me every way that he cheated at bowling was more important than the fact the two of you went back to your apartment?”

“You don’t understand, the little shit-” Rich began but, unable to stand it any more, Sandy dived on him, covering his mouth.

“You’re shit at bowling anyway! I don’t care! What happened when you two went back to your apartment?” She asked and then added, “and don’t you dare keep talking about bowling. I will kill you.” With that threat, she cautiously lifted her hand off of his mouth.

“Nothing,” Rich said with a stupid grin. Sandy groaned.

“Why are you so happy about that? You guys have been on five dates-”

“Four,” Rich corrected her.

“_ Five _,” Sandy insisted, “I don’t care what you say that first night counted. You have been on five dates, what are you waiting for?” 

“Why do you care so much?” Rich still had that stupid smile on his face, Sandy knew from experiance that nothing she could say could ruin his good mood, a love struck Rich was a powerful force.

“Because the sooner you two have sex the sooner you can get sick of eachother and you can go back to being as miserable as I am,” Sandy said, she managed to keep a straight face until Rich began to laugh, at which point she couldn’t help but smile, “What? I’m serious!” She tried, but Rich just raised an eyebrow and she gave in. With a sigh, she pulled one of his feet into her lap to paint his toenails.

“Fine, what did you actually do then?” She asked.

“Cleaned.”

“You two are so fucking weird,” Sandy muttered. For a blissful moment, Rich was quiet and Sandy was able to focus on painting his nails but, because it was Rich, the moment was fleeting.

“Have you ever been to his apartment?” He asked. 

“No, we’re not that kind of friends I guess,” she shrugged, “why?”

“Just… I brought up going to his place and he got super weird about it,” Rich said, “that’s weird, right?”

“He’s probably a murderer,” Sandy said dryly, bringing Rich’s other foot to her lap to paint the other toes.

“Or married,” he muttered gloomily. 

“He’s not married,” Sandy sighed, “You’re being irrational Richard.” She fixed him with a hard stare, which usually worked, but Rich was too far gone.

“Do you think it’s me?” He asked, looking absolutely pathetic.

“No! I think it was one weird comment, will you calm down? It didn’t mean anything!” She snapped. Rich dithered for a moment before nodding.

“You’re right,” he said.

“I always am,” Sandy bragged, “now shut up. I want to complain about my own pathetic life.” 

“Alright. Chinese?” Rich suggested.

“Definitely.”

“You’re paying,” Rich told her with a shit eating grin.

“Fuck you Dickard Tozier.”

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

The following Thursday night Rich found himself in a familiar position; outside his apartment building with Eddie looking at him expectantly. 

“Thanks for paying for dinner,” he said awkwardly, “I’ll get the next one.”

“No thanks, I don’t want to end up at Mcdonalds again,” Eddie joked. A beat of silence passed between them.

“So do you want to come in for some coffee?” Rich asked, his douchebag voice coming out again, “I have a blend that will keep you up all night long,” he winked. It was ridiculous that he felt such a rush when Eddie laughed, he was a supposedly adult man, but he felt more like a teenager.

“What even is that voice?” Eddie laughed.

“What voice?” Rich asked in the same voice, “do you want that coffee or not?”

“I guess,” Eddie sighed, not waiting for Rich before going into the apartment building. Despite only having been there once he easily found his way to Rich’s apartment, and as soon as they got in pinned him against the door and kissed him senseless.

Rich had always been jealous of people who couldn’t speak when they were nervous, because being nervous made his (already limited) brain to mouth filter non existent meaning not only that he talked more but that he talked absolute rubbish which he always ended up regretting.

“You have a great sense of direction,” he blurted out when Eddie broke the kiss and immediately wanted to die. Eddie chuckled.

“Thanks?” He said, bemused.

“Maybe you could direct me to the bedroom,” Rich was betrayed by his own mouth again. Luckily, Eddie seemed to find this funny.

“It’s your apartment,” he reminded him.

“Oh, right,” Rich smiled weakly, resisting the urge to bolt since, as Eddie had pointed out, it was his apartment. Shaking his head, Eddie pulled him in for another kiss, this one much softer and shorter.

“I can’t believe I’m attracted to you,” he said, a laugh trapped behind his smile.

“I can’t believe your attracted to me either,” Rich admitted, and Eddie let the laugh go. It only took that laugh, but Rich knew he was a goner.

It didn’t surprise him that Eddie showered immediately after sex, instead, it made him feel a rush of fondness, as if he’d known Eddie for years and was familiar with all his quirks.

“Nice view Kaspbrak,” he called, laughing as Eddie flipped him off and disappeared into the bathroom. He took his contacts out and was fully intending to smoke a cigarette, but as the shower began to run, he fell asleep.

Rich woke up late the next morning, both in terms of late morning (though this wasn’t unusual for him) and late for work. It was only once he got to work and there was a lull in customers that he thought it odd that Eddie had left the way he did. He hadn’t expected him to spend the night, but he also hadn’t expected him to leave without saying goodbye. A voice that sounded suspiciously like Sandy’s told him he was overthinking it, and he could almost see her rolling her eyes at him, so shook the thought from his head. Then, it became a trend. Sex was like hitting the snooze button for him and no matter how hard he tried to stay awake he always ended up falling asleep to the sound of the shower. Eddie was never there when he woke up. After a month it was becoming too much to ignore.

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

“This is actually really good,” Eddie said. They were having a movie night, because Eddie had admitted he had never seen Star Wars and Rich could not accept this, and because he was broke he had offered to cook.

“No need to sound so surprised,” Rich teased, “it’s just pasta, anyone can cook pasta.” 

It wasn’t just pasta. He had called his mother specially to get the recipe, but Eddie didn’t need to know that.

“I can’t,” Eddie admitted.

“Hmmm?” Rich asked through a mouthful of pasta.

“I can’t cook pasta.”

“No way!” Rich laughed, delighted by this, “Eddie-Spaghetti can’t even make his own spaghetti?”

“Beep beep Rich.” The phrase had quickly become a common saying between them, usually it was a joke but though Eddie didn’t look upset, he wasn’t smiling either.

“I just meant it’s super easy to make,” Rich backpedalled, “it’s the first thing most people learn.”

“Well my Mom never let me anywhere near a stove,” Eddie shrugged. Rich had noticed he often said things like that in a casual tone, as if it was normal for a 25 year old to not know how to make pasta. He was never sure how to react.

“I mean, if I can do it how hard can it be?” He joked, and then set his own plate aside to put the first video in, “are you ready to be amazed?”

They both made it through the first movie without much trouble, though they started at opposite ends of the couch by the start of the second movie Eddie was closely pressed to Rich’s side, leaning against him while Rich tried desperately to stay as still as possible, as if Eddie was a wild animal he could spook. Eddie not only tolerated his constant chatter and jokes but actually laughed at a lot of them, even going so far as to join in with Rich’s impressions and guessing what R2D2 was saying. People didn’t often want to watch movies with Rich because his constant chatter and enthusiasm would become too much, but he found he enjoyed having someone to share it with. At some point in the second movie, they both fell asleep.

The first thing Rich noticed when he woke up was the burning pain in his eyes from wearing his contacts too long. The second was the sound of someone hurriedly moving around his apartment. Groggily, he sat up, trying and failing to blink his contacts out.

“Where are you going?” He asked. Eddie jumped at having been caught.

“I’ve got to go,” he said simply, Rich frowned and still half asleep grabbed his hand.

“Stay?” He asked so softly he wasn’t sure that Eddie had heard. Because he had finally managed to blink his contacts out he didn’t see how Eddie’s face softened for a moment or his reluctance to leave, only felt him gently take his hand away.

“No, I’m going to go,” Eddie repeated, half to Rich and half to himself, he pressed a swift kiss on Rich’s lips, “I’ll call you okay?”

“Wait-” Rich tried but was cut off by the sound of the door slamming shut. Frustrated, Rich turned the TV off, not bothering to remove the video, and went to bed. There, he couldn’t sleep and tossed and turned for what felt like hours, the events of the evening playing in his head on an endless loop on high volume, making it impossible to turn off. Eventually, exhaustion won out, and he fell into an uneasy sleep.

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

“Do you think he’s just into me for sex?” Rich asked Sandy randomly one evening when they were both slightly tipsy. Sandy had to swallow a large mouthful of chips to answer.

“Gross! Don’t talk about your sex life while I’m eating!” She whined.

“We have literally had sex,” Rich reminded her, “multiple times.”

“No! I mean, yeah it happened but years ago, never mention it again you’re like my brother!” Sandy complained, only making Rich laugh.

“Now _ that _is gross, you fucked your brother!”

“I hate you,” Sandy said dryly.

“_ Anyway _back to my non-incest related problem, do you think he’s just into me for the sex?” Rich repeated. Sandy sighed, but decided that discussing Rich’s current sex life was preferable to discussing their previous sex life, but that didn’t mean she was going to enjoy it, so she picked up her wine glass and bit the bullet.

“If he was interested in you just for sex you two wouldn’t hang out outside of sex,” she said, hoping that would be the end of it, but Rich remained unconvinced.

“Like, friends with benefits maybe then?” He said, and Sandy had to fight not to roll her eyes.

“Why would I know? Why don’t you ask him?” For once her sarcasm was not lost on Rich.

“Oh gee thanks, why didn’t I think of that? Oh yeah because if it _ is _ just sex then asking him about his feelings will definitely go over well,” he snapped back. He was alarmed to see that Sandy was smiling. A dangerous smile that nothing good could come of.

“You really like him don’t you?” She said. It was clear the question was rhetorical but Rich nodded nevertheless.

“So?” He asked defensively, feeling very exposed.

“No reason,” Sandy shrugged but the shark’s smile did not disappear, “I just think it’s cute is all,” she cooed, laughing when Rich flipped her off.

“How making fun of me help me?” He sounded pathetic even to his own ears, but Sandy had no pity.

“It doesn’t,” she said, “it’s just fun.”

“Come on Sandy, what am I meant to do?” Rich pushed, “you’re meant to be the relationship expert!”

“What gave you that idea?” Sandy snorted, annoyed to find her wine glass empty.

“You’ve never had a serious relationship Richard,” Rich said in a lazy and yet annoyingly good imitation of her. 

“First of all, I do not sound like that-”

“You do.”

“And second of all,” Sandy went on as if Rich hadn’t spoken, “I gave you advice, it’s not my fault you’re too chicken shit to follow it.”

It was clear that was all Sandy was going to say on the matter, but the thought of asking Eddie how he felt made Rich cringe so hard it felt as if his stomach was going to turn inside out so he decided to do what he always did. Ignore the problem until it went away. It was unfortunate he didn’t tell Sandy this, as she may have been able to point out to him that this had literally never worked out for him.

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

Eddie showed up the following Monday at The Daily Grind while Rich was at work, looking nervous. 

“Hey,” he said, immediately approaching Rich, “when’s your break?”

“Erm… I’m due one now,” Rich said, taken aback by how blunt Eddie was.

“Great I’m on my lunch,” Eddie leaned in so close that his breath tickled Rich’s ear as he said, “think you can sneak me in the back?” Rich had become very familiar with what that tone meant.

“Yeah, meet me outside,” he said, hoping he didn’t look as flustered as he felt. He obviously did because when he told Jim he was taking his break, he rolled his eyes and gave him a knowing look.

Rich kissed Eddie hard against the store room door, stopping anyone from opening it. He lost himself in the kiss, focusing on nothing but the feeling of Eddie’s lips moving against his and the hot flesh where Rich had slipped his hands under his shirt. Eddie broke away, smirking as Rich chased his lips and switched their positions, pressing Rich against the door. He knelt down and Rich made the mistake of relaxing and his focused slipped, so of course he blurted out the thing which had been on his mind constantly.

“Are you just into me for sex?”

All the heat and passion immediately disappeared as if a vacuum had appeared, and for a horrible second it was as if the air had gone with it. Rich cursed his stupid mouth.

“What?” Eddie asked as he stood up and had Rich trapped against the door.

“Nothing,” Rich laughed nervously, “nothing, you know me, no filter and everything. Ignore me.”

“That wasn’t nothing. Why would you think that?” Eddie demanded, looking hurt. Rich was fucked. He stammered and stuttered like… like someone he had known as a kid, but no words came.

“Is that what you think of me? That I’d just use people for sex? Or is that all our relationship is to you?” Eddie demanded. Rich was trying to figure out how to navigate this question when, of course, Jim knocked on the door.

“Come on Rich, I need the sugar!” 

“Just a minute!” Rich called back through gritted teeth, but Jim kept knocking.

“Look I’m not going to snitch but you shouldn’t have sex in there anyway, it’s really unhygienic!”

“I swear to God Jim, just give me one-” Rich tried but Eddie had had enough and pushed past him, storming out.

“Shit man, what did you do?” Jim asked, stunned. Rich didn’t answer, and instead slammed his head into a shelf.

“I’m having a smoke,” he said, and left a confused Jim behind.

Unsurprisingly, when Rich got home, Sandy was sat at his kitchen table.

“I gave you that key for emergencies,” he grumbled, but his heart wasn’t in it.

“This is an emergency!” Sandy said and Rich collapsed into the seat across from her, too exhausted to argue.

“Can we not do this now? I’ve had a really long day,” he begged, then hastily added, “and not just because of the thing with Eddie,” when she opened her mouth. Sandy seemed to soften.

“I really fucked up didn’t I?” Rich muttered after a moment of silence. Sandy made a sympathetic noise but didn’t contradict him so Rich groaned, burying his face in his arms.

“You know, when I said ask him about it, that’s not what I meant,” Sandy joked gently. 

“Did he tell you everything?” Rich asked, head still in his arms.

“Yeah, I mean he was pretty pissed,” Sandy admitted and Rich groaned again. When it became clear he was not going to lift his head off the table, Sandy spoke again.

“Do you want a smoke?” She asked, waving her pack of cigarettes, “my treat!” Rich, never one to turn down anything free, finally lifted his head from the table and nodded, so they sat out on the fire escape.

Sandy had never known Rich as quiet as he was on that fire escape. As much as she complained about Rich’s near constant chatter it was always eerie when it was gone, Rich seemed hollow without it.

“You should call him,” she said once he’d almost smoked his cigarette.

“And say what?”

“Explain! Well, ask him to come over and explain anyway, I’m sure you didn’t mean what he thought you meant,” she told him. Rich put out the almost nonexistent stub of his cigarette out and shrugged.

“Look, unfortunately, I know you well, and I know you’re an idiot,” Sandy said, “which is why I’m certain this can be solved with a conversation.” Her bluntness started a laugh out of Rich and he came a little more alive.

“Tell me how you feel why don’t you?” He said, smiling a little.

“You couldn’t handle it if I did,” Sandy told him, “now call him before we die of old age!”

She followed Rich back inside and watched him to make sure that he did, listening in on the phone conversation, without much success.

“He’s coming over,” Rich told her, he looked like he was going to be sick. She nodded.

“That’s my cue!” She announced, “funnily enough I don’t want to be around to listen to you two have makeup sex.” She paused in the doorway and before leaving, pulled Rich into a tight hug.

“You’ve got this,” she whispered in his ear before leaving him alone to wait.

Rich paced up and down like a tiger trapped at a zoo. He had nothing to do and yet endless energy, so much so it was bubbling under his skin like his body was unable to contain it. He was so deep into trying to figure out what the fuck he was going to say that the knock at the door made him jump.

“Hi,” Eddie looked as nervous as Rich felt, “can I come in?”

“Sure,” Rich let him in, trying not to read too far into the fact that Eddie didn’t take his coat off, or sit down, “do you want a drink?”

“No thank you,” Eddie said stiffly.

“Okay, do you want to see if you can make it through Empire Strikes Back this time?” Rich joked lamely, as soon as the words came out of his mouth he knew it was a mistake.

“Really?” Eddie demanded, getting up to leave, “I thought you asked me here to talk about it not act as if it never happened! You are so immature!”

“Wait!” Rich called, just as Eddie reached the door.

“What?”

“I’m sorry okay? I shouldn’t have made a stupid joke, it’s just that for someone who talks as much as I do I’m actually really bad at it,” Rich said, he went to push the glasses he wasn’t wearing up his nose, “can we just sit down and talk about it?” Reluctantly, Eddie took a seat.

“Why did you think that I was just using you?” He asked when it became clear Rich wasn’t going to start. 

“I didn’t! I just thought maybe the relationship was just about the sex for you… like… friends with benefits or something,” Rich said, when he said it out loud it sounded pretty stupid.

“_ Okay _, why did you think that then?” Eddie asked.

“I mean, you never stay the night,” Rich pointed out, “and I mean, why else would you want me except for this hot bod?” He meant it as a joke but instead it came out depressingly flat and genuine. Eddie no longer looked angry, but was clearly completely lost, but Rich decided he had gone too far to backtrack.

“I can’t see why you would want to actually date me, so I assumed it was just about the sex,” Rich said plainly.

“Why wouldn’t I want to date you?” Eddie asked, as if Rich had just told him he believed the earth was a cube.

“Because I’m a loud?” Rich suggested, “or unfunny, or annoying or dumb, I don’t know, take your pick!”

“I don’t think that,” Eddie still sounded completely confused, “why would I think that? I mean yeah I guess you can be a bit loud when your excited but I think it’s cute not annoying. And you’re not dumb, I wouldn’t date you if you were.” 

“Eddie, I’m a 24 year old man working in a coffee shop,” Rich pointed out.

“Rich, I’m a 24 year old man who can’t even make spaghetti, I’d probably fuck up tinned soup for god’s sake!” 

“So?”

“So?” Eddie said, obviously irritated Rich wasn’t getting it, “so what kind of adult can’t even make tinned soup? An idiot!” Eddie laughed and Rich couldn’t help but smile back.

“You’re not-” He started but Eddie shook his head.

“I am! I am an idiot!” He reached across the table and took Rich’s hands into his own, “and I want to be an idiot with you okay?”

“Okay,” Rich agreed, and matched Eddie’s smile, “I’m making chilli if you want to stay,” he said, already getting up to start it.

“Sure, then can we finish the empire strikes back?” Eddie asked, finally taking his coat off and carefully hanging it over one of the kitchen chairs. At the suggestion, Rich turned to gape at him.

“Eddly Kaspbrak,” He said with a completely straight face, “I think you might be my soulmate.” Even when Eddie laughed he managed not to break, asking him why he was laughing which only made Eddie laugh harder. 

Eddie ended up perched on a kitchen counter, watching Rich cook and listening to an account of the terrible day he’s had at work, impressions and all.

“-so she throws the muffin at me, which was not stale by the way, and asks to speak to my manager, at which point I turn around and tell her ‘I am the manager’ and I swear Eds, a heavenly chorus began to sing!”

And when the chilli was done, they curled up together on the couch to watch The Empire Strikes Back.

“Do you think you’re man enough to take on the last one?” Rich asked as the credits began to roll.

“Is that a challenge Fuckface?”

“Absolutely.”

“Bring. It. On.” Rich smirked.

“Big words Shortstack,” he said, “Okay, we’ll see, but let me take my contacts out first, they’re killing me.” Eddie nodded, moving to change the video. When Rich emerged from the bedroom, with his old coke bottle glasses on his face, Eddie froze and stared.

“What?” Rich asked, adjusting them on his face. He was regretting not just dealing with the pain, but he really couldn’t afford the risk of falling asleep in contacts again. He literally couldn’t afford it. His insurance covered basically nothing. Eddie shook his head, as if suddenly waking up.

“Nothing,” he said, “they suit you.” Rich immediately relaxed, and threw himself onto his old spot on the sofa.

“Yeah? Do they fuel your teacher student fantasies?” He teased, leaning in to whisper in Eddie’s ear “have you been a naughty boy Mr Kaspbrak?” Eddie laughed and pushed him off.

“Fuck off,” he laughed.

It turned out, neither of them were man enough to make it through the last movie, though Eddie would go on to claim it as a victory since Rich fell asleep first. Hours later, Rich was woken up, not by Eddie leaving, but by him tossing and muttering in his sleep, clearly distressed.

“Eds?” He asked groggily, sitting up, though he was still half asleep. He was woken up properly when Eddie jolted, inadvertently punching Rich in the face.

“Fuck!” Rich swore the hit had broken his glasses and made his nose bleed. Fortunately, it had also woken Eddie up as well.

“Rich? Oh shit, are you okay? I am so sorry,” he said, immediately wide awake.

“I’m fine,” Rich assured him, trying to check the damage to his glasses, rather unsuccessfully as without them he was almost blind.

“You’re not your nose it bleeding! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” Eddie went on worrying, “tip your head back and hold it.” Rich did as he was told with a dumb smirk.

“You going to take care of me nurse Kaspbrak?” He joked.

“How are you so calm about this? Your nose is bleeding, your glasses- shit did I break your glasses?”

“Not really. I mean yeah, you did, but they’re more sellotape than plastic nowadays anyway, it’s easily done,” Rich shrugged, “are you okay?”

“Am I- Am I okay?” Eddie spluttered.

“Yeah, that must have been a pretty intense dream, do you get those often?” Rich asked.

“I- Yeah,” Rich’s genuineness startled an honest answer out of Eddie, “ever since I was a kid.”

“That’s rough,” Rich said, his nose had stopped bleeding and Eddie began to dab at it with a wet paper towel, cleaning away the blood.

“I guess I’m lucky my Mom was such a heavy sleeper, otherwise I’d be on medication for that as well,” Eddie meant it as a joke, but it came out a little bitter, finally the blood was gone, “you’re good,” he told Rich.

“Thanks Nurse Kaspbrak,” Rich said, in the same stupid, meant to be seductive voice, he was happy to hear it made Eddie laugh.

“Get fucked Tozier.”

“No way. I’m too tired, though I am going to bed,” Rich told him, standing up and stretching, he made it to the bedroom door before realising Eddie hadn’t followed, “you coming?”

“Do you want me to?” Eddie asked, “after that?”

“Course Eds,” Rich said, “it’s not like you meant to do it, or did you?”

“No! Of course not!”

“Relax I’m joking,” Rich laughed, “come on.” He collapsed into bed and was glad when soon after a body fell next to him, he pulled it close.

“I get nightmares too,” Rich told Eddie softly, “I used to drive my mom crazy cos I’d wake her up in the middle of the night. She’d tell me every morning that she ‘needed her beauty sleep’ and I’d say that she definitely did and she’d pretend to come at me with whatever she was holding at the time.” Rich chuckled at the memory.

“You’d have deserved it,” Eddie joked.

“Yeah, she always got up though,” Rich remembered, Eddie rolled over to face him.

“What did she do?” He asked.

“Nothing, just listen to me talk about it until I calmed down enough to go back to sleep,” Rich said, “do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s hazy, I can never remember the specifics, just running water, and something with a high pitched voice chanting my name,” Eddie said, shivering at the thought, “and absolute terror.”

“Running water?” Rich repeated, Eddie nodded, “Weird, I used to have one about running water where I’d drown in some kind of big pipe.”

“Huh, I guess we’ll have to be weirdos together as well,” Eddie said, pressing closer to him.

“I guess so,” Rich agreed, letting any thoughts of nightmares escape his mind.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be meeting the Losers Club I promise!


	5. The Losers Club Reunites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally meet the rest of The Losers club! I know this is the one thing you all wanted, so I hope you enjoy!

They pulled up at Derry Townhouse late, almost midnight. Derry had grown since the last time they’d been there, no longer would citizens have to drive to Bangor for anything but the bare essentials, Derry was almost a city itself. It was weird to see. The bored looking check out boy at the counter checked them in without issue. He barely seemed aware of what he was doing, and was just going through the motions, not really seeing them. He directed them to a decently sized, if dated room.

It was the kind of room your grandmother kept spare, the one you’d sleep in when you went to visit her. The comforter was decorated with a floral print, meaning most of it was a charming shade of puke green and the TV was so old it had rabbit ears. Worst of all was the lace. It was everywhere, the curtains, the rug, the tables, it even hung out of the draws. The room made Eddie’s throat close up.

“Home sweet home, eh Eds?” Richie threw himself onto the bed, and kicked his shoes off, “Eds?” Eddie was pale and shaking, “you good?”

“Yeah,” Eddie swallowed thickly, “it just reminds me of my Mom’s house is all.” Richie didn’t push, Eddie didn’t like to talk about his mom at the best of times, he couldn’t imagine that he would be eager to do it in their current situation. Eddie took his shoes off and laid next to him, exhausted and yet wide awake.

“I swore I’d never come back to this shit hole,” Richie sighed.

“You swore you would come back to this shit hole,” Eddie reminded him but Richie shook his head.

“After all that, when me Bev and Mike were the only ones left, the night before Bev left for college she made me pinkie promise I’d leave and not come back.” Eddie couldn’t help it, he had to laugh.

“Who makes a pinkie promise at 18?” He asked.

“Pinkie promises are serious business,” Richie said, “no one should be making a spiritually binding contract until they are of age!” They were both laughing after that, hysterically, enjoying the release it gave them from the thick, melancholy atmosphere of the town, and the absolute terror that had been haunting them since Mike called.

“But you did come back,” Eddie pointed out. Richie sighed and rolled over to rest his head on Eddie’s shoulder.

“Blood oath trumps pinkie promise I suppose,” he said.

“In legal terms?”

“Certainly, plus, I couldn’t let you come back alone.”

“Thank you,” Eddie muttered into Richie’s hair, as if someone might overhear them, “I wouldn’t have let you come alone either. Someone needs to be your common sense.” He expected Richie to tease him back, or at least call him an ass if he was feeling lazy. Instead, Richie pressed closer to him.

“Thanks,” he said, using the same hushed tone as Eddie, “I don’t think I could do this without you.”

They only caught short bursts of sleep that night, which was more than either of them expected. They didn’t speak, both aware that the other was awake but not knowing what to say. When Rich woke up at a reasonable hour, Eddie was still asleep. He looked younger and less worn asleep, as if the events of the past night had been erased. Richie freed his arm from under Eddie’s head and went to take a shower.

Despite the less than ideal circumstances, he was excited to see everyone. It was strange to say that he missed people he’d only remembered the night before, but he had. He was homesick for them. Stan and his weird jokes, Bev and their first ‘date’, Ben and his hopeless crush, Mike throwing rocks at Bowers, and Bill their fearless leader. The best friends he’d ever had.

“Rich?” The startled yell pulled him from his memories.

“Yeah?” He grabbed a towel and his glasses and burst back into the main room. Eddie looked as if he’d seen a ghost, which, in Derry, wasn’t impossible.

“Are you alright?” Richie asked. Eddie didn’t answer instead he reached his arm out and grabbed Richie’s shoulder. He was relieved to find it solid. Meanwhile, Richie had absolutely no idea what was going on.

“Spaghetti?” He prompted.

“I woke up and you were gone and I thought-” Eddie explained, sitting back down on the bed, suddenly drained of energy. Richie sat down next to him.

“Shit, no. I’m sorry, still here! Think you can get rid of me that easy?” He assured him, only wrapping an arm around him once Eddie leaned into him. Eddie gave a shaky laugh.

“Sorry,” he said.

“It’s fine,” Richie said, “you thought you were finally rid of me, who wouldn’t be excited?” Eddie flinched.

“I don’t want to be rid of you,” he said, so earnestly it took Richie aback.

“Oh, well. Right back at ya,” he stammered, shooting finger guns, “no take backs.”

“No take backs,” Eddie agreed, pulling Richie in for a hug. Richie smelt strongly of the same shampoo he’d been using for years, he smelt of home. After a long moment, Eddie let go.

“Losers club reunion today,” Richie clapped, “see who got married, who got hot, who had kids, who went off the rails! Just like a high school reunion!”

“We’ve never been to a high school reunion.”

“Details,” Richie put on his teenage valley girl voice, “oh my god do you think Bill Denbrough is still totally hot?”

“Hotter than you.”

“Slander!” Richie cried, “take it back!” Eddie shook his head, laughing, and went to take a shower of his own.

Richie got dressed and then realised he had nothing else to do but sit in the room and wait. Soon he was pacing up and down the room, trying to think about anything but the reason they were there.

“Fuck!” He jumped as his phone let out a cheerful chirp.

“Hello, you’ve reached Richard ‘Loudmouth’ Tozier,” he sang into the phone, cringing at himself as the words came out of his mouth.

“Hey Richie!” Mike greeted, sounding cheerful despite everything.

“Mickey! It’s good to hear from you, you’re the only good part of this shit-hole town of Derry!” Richie said, sitting down on the bed. 

“You flatter me, but I know you’re a taken man,” he could hear Mike grinning down the phone, “almost a married one!”

“Have you been stalking me Hanlon?” Richie teased.

“That’s my job, to keep tabs on you all,” Mike said, “as creepy as it is.”

“It is pretty creepy, but then so is everything in this good town,” Richie told him. Mike was laughing, half out of actually being amused, but half out of relief. It had been a long twenty seven years and he was glad to have his friends back.

“It’s not so bad,” Mike tried.

“Trust me Mikecycle it is, you’ve got Stockholm syndrome,” Richie said, which was probably more true than Mike would like to admit.

“Maybe.”

“So, is the whole Losers club here?” Richie asked him, “are we meeting up?” Eddie emerged from the bathroom and looked at him questioningly. ‘Mike’ Richie mouthed.

“That’s the plan, are you and Eddie both here?” Mike asked. Richie nodded, then realised Mike couldn’t see him.

“Yep.”

“Okay, well Bev only got here in the early morning so we’re going to meet at 1:30 at the Jade Orient,” Mike told him.

“Awesome, I look forward to it, especially seeing your beautiful face,” Richie grinned, smirking as Eddie flipped him off, he was about to hang up when Mike stopped him.

“Richie?”

“Mike.”

“I’m sorry,” Mike said.

“For what?”

“For dragging you both back into this, you both deserve better.”

“Stop it Mike you’ll make me cry,” Richie tried to brush him off.

“I’m serious. I’m really sorry, and I hope after all this is done you two can be happy,” Mike finally got to say the thing he’d been wanting to say since he found out about their engagement. Even if they didn’t remember him until the night before, it still meant alot for him that two of his closest friends were getting married.

“Oh! Thanks man, we’ll invite you to the wedding!” Richie said. Mike doubted that, but he laughed along anyway.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he warned.

“I hope you do. See you at 1:30.”

“See you at 1:30.”

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

Eddie had insisted they leave early, ‘in case they got lost’. Really, it was because the waiting was driving them both crazy. This meant that they arrived in the parking lot at 1:10 with nothing to do but wait in the car.

“You’re wearing your glasses,” Eddie noticed suddenly.

“Oh yeah,” Richie adjusted his glasses needlessly, “do they look okay? I mean I know that I look like a dork but no one here knows me as anything but a massive dork, so I guess it doesn’t-” Eddie cut him off by kissing his cheek.

“You look fine,” he said, “it just threw me off because it makes you look so much like you did as a kid.”

“Yeah, I keep expecting my buck teeth to come back in,” Richie said, only half joking. Eddie nodded, he was half expecting that himself.

“This is going to be weird,” Eddie muttered.

“I know,” Richie sighed, “they’re going to be so jealous.”

“Of what?”

“Of you! You got the best looking loser,” Richie cooed, ruffling Eddie’s hair. Eddie laughed and pushed him away.

“What about Mike?”

“Fine second best looking,” Richie admitted.

“Stan?”

“Joint second best looking.”

“Bev?”

“Joint second best looking male loser.”

“Me?”

“Joint third best looking loser.”

“Bill?”

“Oh my god Eddie,” Richie complained as Eddie giggled in the seat next to him, Richie gave him a playful shove, “you ready to do this?” Eddie sighed.

“As I’ll ever be,” he said.

As soon as he was out of the car Richie grabbed Eddie’s hand and held on tight, as if he was the only thing keeping him there. Eddie offered him a nervous smile which did relax him slightly, at least he wasn’t alone. They didn’t even get to the door before they saw a familiar figure smoking a cigarette.

“Miss Beverly Marsh! As I live and breathe!” Richie called out to her. Bev beamed when she saw them and immediately put out her cigarette to rush toward them.

“Trashmouth Tozier!” She exclaimed pulling him into a tight hug and giggling hysterically when Richie picked her up to spin her around. Once he let go she took a good look at him.

“You look great!” She said.

“You don’t have to lie Bev, it’s alright,” Richie joked, “look at you, all grown up!” He’d liked Bev a lot as a kid and had always known she’d been pretty, but he hadn’t seen the potential in her to be beautiful until it was right in front of him.

“You look amazing Bev,” Eddie said and Bev rushed to hug him as well.

“Eddie! God it’s so weird to see you both grown up,” she said, “did you two meet up last night?” Richie and Eddie shared an awkward laugh.

“Something like that,” Richie told her quickly, “come on, let’s get in there, they’ll be bored senseless without us.” Bev gave them both a confused look but didn’t ask.

“”Oh course they will.” She began back toward the restaurant, Richie and Eddie behind her. A cheery waitress guided them to a room Mike had reserved. Surprisingly, Ben and Mike were already there. Ben was midsentance when Beverly walked in and immediately trailed off, blushing madly. Bev stared back. The pair only saw each other, and were completely oblivious to the rest of the room sharing knowing looks.

“Come on Heystack! I know Eddie looks fantastic but there’s no need to stare!” Richie easily cut through the tension.

“Get fucked Rich!” Eddie said, but Rich just winked.

“I plan to.”

“You’re disgusting!”

“I see you two haven’t changed,” Ben said and Eddie had to bite down a laugh at that.

“Oh Benny-Boy,” Richie drawled, “you have  _ no _ idea.”

The five of them chatted for a while, very effectively ignoring the whole herd of elephants in the room.

“Is everyone coming?” Bev asked eventually.

“I don’t know about Stan, but Bill said he would so he should be here soon,” Mike told them.

“He’ll be here,” both Bev and Eddie said together.

“I’m sure he will be,” Mike said, and continued telling them about his job at the library. Ben caught Richie’s eye and gave him a sad sort of smile Richie suddenly remembered them sharing often as kids, under the table, his hand tightened around Eddie’s.

True to his word, Bill arrived only a few minutes later. As soon as he entered, the room fell silent as everyone turned to look at him. He had the same easygoing charisma that had drawn them to him as children, and that had made him the final authority on everything they did.

_ “I hate it sometimes,” Bill had admitted to Richie at some point over that summer, “because I know that if any of you get hurt or worse… It’s my fault.” Richie had shook his head. _

_ “You have to be the leader, you don’t have a choice, none of us do,” he’d said, not knowing why he was so certain of it, “it’s just how it is.” _

“Hey guys,” Bill said, and with that the meeting of the losers club officially began.

“As if to make up for the silence, everyone began to talk over each other, catching the others up on what they’d been up to since they’d last seen each other. Beverly Marsh had become Beverly Rogan. She gushed over her husband, who had turned her small talent for sewing into a thriving business, though Eddie was certain he wasn’t the only one who wasn’t convinced by her empty smile. Ben had become an architect, and had even designed the BBC building Richie and Eddie had visited when they went to London, with the man in front of him Eddie could see his in it. Bill, of course, had become a writer, and although Eddie hadn’t read any of his books himself, Richie had on Lucas’ recommendation.

“The werewolf one scared the shit out of me!” He told Bill who laughed.

“That’s because I’m good at my job Trashmouth!” He said, looking flattered.

Inevitably, the conversation turned to the two of them.

“What about you Richie?” Bill asked, after telling them all about his own wife, “are you married?”

“You had your chance Billy-Boy, it’s too late now!” Richie joked.

“Oh come on Richie,” Bev begged, “tell us!”

“Actually, me and Rich met again in New York,” Eddie cut in, “we’re sort of together.”

“Aw, ‘sort of together’ you have such a way with words babe,” Richie said, wrapping an arm around him. Bev, Ben and Bill all asked a million questions at once, talking over each other until it was just noise.

“Okay, okay, I know it’s a shock that I managed to corrupt our Spaghetti,” Richie spoke over them, “and I know you’re all burning with jealousy, but one at a time!”

They answered question after question about their lives, how long they’d been together, how they met, if they were married-

“We’re engaged,” Eddie said.

“That’s right I plan to make this fine ass legally mine,” Richie said.

“That’s so gross. I regret saying yes.”

“You don’t.”

“I do.”

-what they did for work, and if they had any kids.

“No.” “Yes.” They both said at the same time.

“He means our dog,” Eddie told them, rolling his eyes.

“Zorp is like our child!” Richie protested.

“That is not even a little bit true, I don’t even like that damn dog!”

“I’ll tell him you said that,” Richie warned.

“Don’t you dare!”

“Then he’ll love me best,” he smirked triumphantly.

“That will never happen,” Eddie shot back. It was such a common place argument between them that they could have been at home, and for a moment they were.

“You two really haven’t changed have you?” Ben observed, his voice bringing them crashing down back to Derry.

“I guess not,” Richie said, sounding distant. Eddie squeezed his leg under the table.

“Did you two remember each other when you met?” Mike asked, “did you remember Derry?” ‘Did you remember what we did’ wasn’t asked out loud but was asked nevertheless.

“No,” Richie admitted, “we didn’t even know we knew each other as kids until you called.”

“That is so weird,” Bev muttered and Richie had to laugh, though it came out more bitter than he had intended.

“You’re telling me,” he said, next to him Eddie looked as if he might be sick. He fished in his pocket and took out an old, hardly used inhaler, to take a puff. Richie glanced at him questioningly, but Eddie shook his head minutely, so he didn’t ask.

“Bill?” Mike asked, “what about you?”

“No. Me and Audra have been trying for a while but-”

“But you’re not man enough for the job, is that it Denbrough?” Richie teased. Bill flipped him off.

“Beep beep Tozier!” The entire table burst into laughter at the familiar phrase, reminiscing and beeping Richie. All except Eddie.

“Excuse me,” he said, no one heard him speak but the sound of the door closing immediately silenced them.

“Is he okay?” Bill asked, the rest of the losers all stared at Richie expectantly, but Richie was too busy watching the door to notice.

“I- I’ll go check on him.”

It wasn’t hard to find Eddie. He wasn’t one for public bathrooms so Richie headed outside. Sure enough, Eddie was just outside the restaurant, breathing in the fresh air the same way Richie used to smoke.

“You’re missing the party old sport,” Richie said in his British accent. Eddie jumped, almost punching Richie in the face. When he saw who it was he gave him a shove.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that fuck-face!” He snapped, “not here.” Richie put up his hands in surrender.

“Are you okay?” He asked. Eddie gaped at him as if he’d gone insane.

“Am I okay? No I’m not fucking okay! I just found out almost everything I knew about my life was a lie. That not only is there a massive portion of my life I apparently just forgot but that the person I want to spend the rest of my life with was my childhood best friend who I somehow didn’t recognise! So no Rich I’m not feeling too great!” Eddie had to take a moment to catch his breath after that outburst, “sorry,” he muttered.

“Do you feel better now?” Richie unphased, in fact he was smiling. Eddie nodded and pulled him close.

“Do you think It put us together?” Richie asked when they broke apart.

“What?”

“What if It was the reason we met each other again, hell the reason we got together may-”

“No.” Eddie cut him off, “No! I can’t believe you would even think that! Look, I don’t remember everything about that summer, but I remember how It made us feel, how It worked, It used fear and hate.”

“I just-”

“No! I refuse to think that some alien shapeshifter fucker could make me love you, don’t even say it!” Eddie warned, interrupting Richie every time he tried to talk until he was laughing.

“I love you,” Richie said.

“I love you too,” Eddie said, “of my own free will, so get that into your thick skull okay?” He gently flicked his forehead.

“Okay!” Richie agreed, “you ready to go back?” Eddie nodded and took his hand.

“Let’s do this.”

Once they went back in there was the unmistakable silence of people who had just been talking about you. 

“Sorry folks, we didn’t break up, you don’t have a story to sell to the press,” Richie announced, retaking his seat as if nothing had happened. Eddie followed his lead and took the seat next to him, rolling his eyes.

“No one would buy it,” he teased, deadpan, “no one cares about you.”

“How dare you,” Richie gasped, “I have a dedicated cult following, I’m practically a fashion icon!” Eddie laughed.

“Bullshit! There are whole blogs dedicated to getting you a halfway decent wardrobe!” He said.

“What?” Beverly chimed in. Eddie eagerly told her the story on the ‘Get Richard Tozier a decent wardrobe’ campaign, and from there, the conversation just flowed.

“You two are really great together,” Bev told Eddie over dessert. Richie had migrated to the other side of the table and was enthusiastically talking with Bill about movies, paying them no mind.

“Thanks,” Eddie said.

“He’s a lucky guy.”

“As am I,” Eddie told her.

“Oh come on Eddie we both know you could do better,” Bev teased, just as Richie threw his arms open with too much enthusiasm, smacking one of the decoration lanterns. Eddie laughed.

“I don’t think I could have done,” he said, cringing at how mushy he was being, “what about you  _ Mrs Rogan _ ?” Bev gave an awkward, performed laugh.

“Tom’s great,” she said stiffly. Eddie looked her right in the eye.

“Are you happy with him Bev?” He asked. Bev shook her head, but then smiled.

“I left him, before I came here, he tried to stop me and I beat the shit out of him and left,” she laughed, loud and free in a way she hadn’t since she was a girl, “about time too.” She sighed and still laughing a little turned to look at Bill, “can you believe he’s married to a movie star?” She asked wistfully.

“She looks just like you,” Eddie said, “I saw her in something a few years back, the same red hair, same kind of eyes as well.”

“You’re just saying that!”

“No look!” Eddie pulled up a picture on his phone, “spitting image!” Bev waved him off.

“It’s just the hair,” she said and Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Whatever you say Bev,” he said, “besides, I think it’s for the best.”

“What?”

“That he’s taken, a crush on him always felt like having a crush on a celebrity, you know?” Eddie explained, and Bev nodded, but that didn’t change the fact that he was the only decent guy she’d ever dated, or almost dated.

“Maybe,” she said, clearly unconvinced, Eddie wasn’t looking at her, but past her to Ben who was staring at her, the same puppy love in his eyes as when they were kids.

When dessert was gone, Mike reminded them of the real reason they had come to Derry. The warm feeling of the room was replaced with cold dread and by the time the fortune cookies were gone and Stan’s death was announced, any lingering good feelings were gone.

“I suggest we all go to the place where we first saw It, see if it jogs your memories,” Mike told them, “we can meet up tonight to make a plan.” Bill nodded.

“No one go to the barrens,” he ordered, “we should go there together.”

“Aye, aye captain,” Richie said with a salute.

“Hey,” just as they were about to split up his grabbed Eddie’s hand and kissed him briefly, “I love you.”

“I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might be a while before the next update it's been a difficult chapter to write, on the bright side it's going to be LONG! Remember: A comment a day keeps that alien shapeshifter Fucker away!


	6. Walking Tours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie and Eddie take a tour around Derry and some old memories and fears surface.

Eddie felt weird wandering the streets he’d grown up on. So much was the same and yet so much was different. It was as if someone had created the street based on Eddie telling them about it, the main parts were right; the baseball field, Neibolt house, but the smaller details were off. 

As he wandered the baseball field, yet more memories of his time in Derry coming back to him: that was where Stan had played, his fast legs and faster reflexes making up for what he lacked in strength, where Belch Higgens had put a dent in Snuffy’s (Eddie couldn’t recall his real name, just as anyone who had a vague memory of him would remember him as Wheezy) ball, sending it out of the park. He’d been in the sewers with them, Eddie couldn’t recall why he was there, but he was certain he had been. The field was useless now, ruined to the point where the only way you’d be able to tell it had once been used for playing baseball would be if you’d seen it. Despite that, Eddie could feel the rush of being a kid, the energy, the fear, the endless summers, the isolation.

_ “Do you want kids Spaghetti?” Rich had asked once, as they drove back from Sandy and Joe’s daughter Rose’s christening. _

_ “I’ve never thought about it,” Eddie said, “why? Do you?” _

_ “Maybe, someday.” _

It wasn’t a long walk from the baseball field to his old house. If the field was a sign that things had changed, his house was a sign some things never would. It looked exactly like he remembered, so much so he was tempted to go inside, just to check if she’d be there in her usual chair, painting her nails or gossiping. He felt a lot all at once. He hated his mom, but he loved her. He was relieved she was gone, and yet he missed her. He wished it would just make sense. He wished Richie was there to hold his hand. He wished they were curled up at home wi-

“But you are home Eds.” An eerie high pitched voice reminded him. Eddie thought it was in his head, he hoped desperately it was in his head. He closed his eyes and counted to ten in a misguided attempt to get a grip. When he opened them, It was there. What had once been a man but had began to rot from the inside out stumbled toward him, falling to the floor in his attempt. Greyish skin stretched over a skeletal figure, it’s long fingers clawed at the floor, dragging itself toward Eddie. The closer it got the more of it Eddie could see. Maggots infested the eye sockets, eagerly eating away at the flesh, it’s jaw hung at an unnatural angle, hanging open to show it’s yellow decaying teeth.

“Do you want a blow job Eddie?” It asked. Eddie couldn’t say anything, if he opened his mouth he was certain he would puke. Slowly, he backed away, unable to take his eyes off the monstrosity coming toward him. It’s cackle was like lightning.

“Bobby’ll do it for a dime! Bobby’ll do it anytime!” It sang gleefully, “do you really think you can do it Eddie? You, your little friends and your  _ boyfriend _ ,” it said boyfriend the same way he mother used to say it in his worst nightmares, “you’re too old, all of you are!” 

Eddie screamed as something grabbed his shoulder. He spun around to see Belch staring at him. His body was waterlogged and swollen, and rats had chewed at him. Where his eyes should have been there were just dark pits.

“Bobby’ll do it for a dime! Bobby’ll do it anytime!” It and Belch went on singing.

“Come on Eds,” Belch grabbed his arm forcefully, “Rich won’t mind.”

“No! Please!” Eddie begged. It grinned and transformed before his eyes. Where Belch had been his mother stood. She loomed above him, her skin was a sickly green, swollen and broken with festering wounds. She was crying.

“I didn’t want this for you Eddie-Bear,” she cooed, “I wanted you to be safe.”

“Ma I-”

“Don’t interrupt me when I’m talking Edward,” she snapped, “it’s not right. You’re sick! You’ve let yourself be sick!”

Still yelling about him being sick It once again began to change. Not quickly, the way the Leper had changed into his mother, but slowly and painfully. Eddie could hear as the bones snapped into place and her skin contorted unnaturally. After various gory figures Eddie was almost relieved when he saw a normal man. Then he recognised him. It was him. Older and gaunter, but unmistakably him. He muttered to himself in a quiet, cracked voice, and drawn by sick fascination, Eddie crept closer.

“She’s right,” he was saying over and over. Eddie shook his head but his older self went on, “she is. Not with what she thinks, but something worse. Something she gave to us. That’s why they left!”

“Who?” Eddie whispered.

“Them. We drove them away. Rich and Izzy.”

“Izzy?” He asked. His older self let out a horrible, bitter laugh.

“Right, you don’t know, it’s too soon,” he grinned nastily, “you finally do it, get married, have a kid.”

“We-” Eddie tried but couldn’t think of what to say.

“Of course Rich was great with her,” his older self smiled with an affection Eddie had only seen on his own face in pictures, “but us? We were exactly how you’ve always imagined.”

“No.”

“Yep. It started small, obsessively keeping track of what she ate, when she slept, it was harmless, helpful even. Then she got older, and you got worse. You got Rich to quit his job.”

“I wouldn’t!” Eddie protested, he knew how much Richie loved his job and would never force him to make a decision like that. His older self shook his head.

“He loved you, and you knew it. You said jump, and as long as you were crying, he said how high,” he told him, “he tried, he tried to reason with you, but you threatened to leave, and it wasn’t like he could take Izzy, not without a job, not without money. You made him miserable.” Eddie felt a kind of nausea that the gore couldn’t have achieved. His older self went on talking.

“Eventually, Sandy and Joe stepped in. They left. You tried to get her back, but the court sided with Rich,” Eddie watched as his older self began to decay before his eyes, “you die alone!” Eddie shut his eyes tight, but he could still hear multiple voices singing,

“You’ll die if you try,” over and over. 

Then, as suddenly as it started it was over. Leaving Eddie in a deafening silence. Dazed, and feeling terribly alone, he let his feet carry him back to the townhouse.

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

Richie absentmindedly kicked a can down the street as he made his way to the town centre. He wondered if it would still be there, the damn statue had been such an eyesore that it had never been popular, even when it had first opened. Sure enough, there it was, a huge Paul Bunyan smiling down at him.

“You are still one creepy motherfucker,” he told it, “creepier in fact.” The statue had not been well cared for, the too bright paint had begun to chip and the rude words inevitably scrawled on the base by kids hadn’t been cleaned off, making the already tacky feature look even cheaper. He felt as if the damn thing was watching him as wandered the park. He felt like an idiot, he didn’t even really know what he was looking for. Eventually, he stumbled upon something familiar.

“Oh my God,” he laughed.

_ Derry Music Festival _

The annual concert! At least it had been a concert when Richie had wanted to go. He’d been desperate to go to that damn show every summer but no amount of begging could convince his mother. He smiled at the memory, actually feeling nostalgic for Derry for the first time since he’d been back there. Then he heard it.

“Glad you could make it to the party,” a voice sneered. Richie searched desperately for the source, it was close enough that he could feel it on his neck and yet when he turned around there was nothing there. When he turned back the poster had changed.

_ Rich Tozier’s all Dead Line Up! _

_ Mike Hanlon- 23:15 _

_ Eddie Kaspbrak- 1:00 _

_ Ben Hanscom and Beverly Rogan- 1:07 _

_ Bill Denbrough- 1:10 _

_ You’ll die laughing _

Richie could hear It laughing hysterically as he read it, he backed away slowly.

“Boo!” The laughing voice whispered in Richie’s ear. He jumped and span around. Paul Bunyan’s base was empty, and standing over Richie was a giant clown. It was as tall as the Bunyan statue, the same overly bright chipping paint, some uncanny face, but in the shape of a clown. It smiled at Richie showing it’s teeth, rows and rows like a shark’s mouth.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” 

“Not really,” Richie said, his mouth working of its own accord, “this party is shit, there isn’t even an open bar!” It laughed, deep and rumbling, making the ground shiver.

“Do you really think you can do this? That you can protect them? You’re going to watch them die Trashmouth, you’re going to watch them die, slowly and painfully, unable to save them!”

“Are you seriously monologuing right now?” Richie said, suddenly feeling brave, “have you never seen any saturday morning cartoons?”

“I could do whatever I wanted to you! Take your pick, cancer, paralysis, a brain tumour, not that that would make much difference,” It went on, “or I could go for your precious Eds.”

“Fuck you!”

“Kill him. Make him forget you. Get rid of you completely, that would be doing him a favour!” It taunted, “or better yet, just give him someone better, watch him leave you of his own accord, it’s overdue anyway. What do you think of that four-eyes?”

“I think that you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” Richie told him, but all the bravery in his voice was gone. He wasn’t even convincing himself. From nowhere, The Floating 

Eye appeared behind him, it’s long veiny tentacles snaking around him and holding him in place.

He’d caught a snippet of the movie late one night. His dad had been asleep in his chair when he came down for a glass of water, one snippet had been enough.

The clown continued to taunt him as The Eye’s tentacles, slick with blood curled around him so tight he couldn’t speak, he could barely breathe, they knocked his glasses off and all he could focus on was the feel of The eye crushing him and It’s voice.

“Rich?” Eddie. Unmistakably Eddie. Richie shut his eyes tight, completely immobilised it was his last defence.

_ Not real, not real. _

“I’m leaving,” Not-Eddie said, “This isn’t going to work it was never going to work.”

_ Not real! Not real! _

“The truth is, I pitied you. I mean, let’s face it, you’ve been a loser all your life and that’s never going to change. No matter what, the contacts, the braces, the money, you’ll always be the four-eyed annoying kid with the stupid teeth.”

_ NOT REAL! NOT REAL! _ _   
_ Eddie wouldn’t say those things. Sure he’d joke Richie was annoying, but the dismissive, cold tone was not one that he’d ever use. Not Eddie. Never toward him. The tentacles loosened slightly.

“I didn’t like you then, and I certainly don’t love you now!”

“Fuck you you Ronald Mcdonald rip off! I’ve seen trick or treater’s scarier than you!” Richie managed to choke out. Without sound of warning, the constrictions on his chest disappeared, and he fell to his knees, gasping for breath. He scrambled to find his glasses and found that one of the sides had fallen off, but other than that they worked well enough. Still trying to catch his breath he sat on the hard ground, trying to shake Its taunts from his head. Unfortunately, he looked back at the poster.

_ ‘You’ll die if you try’  _ was scrawled across it in bright red, over and over. Richie could almost hear It laughing. Still shaky, he picked himself up and headed back to the townhouse. He needed a drink.

Eddie stumbled back to the townhouse, his skin was crawling like there were parasites buried beneath it. He wanted to take a shower and rub it raw, wanted to get rid of the unshakeable feeling that he was dirty. He’d had days feeling like this before, where he was convinced he was dirty or sick, dying even. In the early years of living together, he and Richie had had many fights on those days, when he’d refused to go outside, or let anyone touch him, but Richie had never given up. Stubborn bastard. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought. He pulled out his phone and began to search for-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

Rich collapsed onto the couch, laying his head on Eddie’s lap. The fact that he didn’t question why Eddie was in his apartment made Eddie smile. He hadn’t officially moved in, but had begun spending more time at Rich’s apartment than his own since Rich had given him a key. 

“Long day?” He asked sympathetically. Rich groaned.

“I swear, you can have none for weeks, months even, and then one day all the assholes crawl out of their holes to make your life miserable,” he complained, “and then just as I was about to leave Cathy calls me to discuss a customer complaint and gave me a long lecture on customer service without even asking for the whole story!”

“Fucking Cathy,” Eddie said, running his hands through Rich’s hair.

“Fucking Cathy! ‘Now honey, you know our new policy is that the customer is always right’ Rich said in her high, patronising voice, “that’s not even what that means!”

Cathy was the new owner of The Daily Grind. Eddie had had the misfortune of meeting her soon after she had bought the business at an opening party she threw (in the middle of the day, with no alcohol, an early sign she was going to be terrible) and she bored him senseless showing him pictures of his kids, and making comments on his ‘alternative lifestyle choices’. Two months later she was make all the employees at The Daily Grind lives hell.

“You can tell she’s never worked in customer service,” Rich went on, “everyone hates her, she’s an imcompetent idiot.”

“You deserve better,” Eddie said, “no luck trying to get something somewhere else then?”

“No. No where’s hiring,” Rich sounded absolutely drained, and Eddie had no idea what to do about it.

“Do you want me to make dinner tonight?” He asked. Rich snorted.

“No. I want dinner to be edible tonight,” he muttered, but at least he was smiling.

“Alright,” Eddie shrugged, “starve then, see if I care.”

“What were you going to make?” Rich asked.

“Mac and Cheese from the box,” Eddie told him. Rich thought this over for a second before telling Eddie that even he couldn’t mess that up, and getting up to change out of his work clothes. He returned in an old t-shirt and those stupid dorky glasses. Perched on the counter he began an account of his day, putting on a performance with voices to make Eddie laugh.

When it was done, Eddie put the mac and cheese on the table with a flourish. Cautiously, Rich took a bite.

“Shit Eds, this is actually alright!” He exclaimed, honestly surprised.

“I finally made something Eddie-able,” Eddie said, laughing at his own lame joke. He was surprised when Rich joined in.

“That is the worst thing I have ever heard!” He laughed, “I love you.”

It took a moment for them to process what had just been said.

“What?” Eddie squeaked.

“I love you,” Rich repeated, “I do, and you don’t have to say it back but I want you to know.” Eddie had no idea what to say to that. The only people who had ever told him they loved him were his mother and… He felt a tug toward a seemingly non-existent memory, but quickly dismissed it. He was aware that Rich was rambling but he wasn’t listening.

“Okay,” he said.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, you love me, okay,” they beamed at each other, and went back to the edible mac and cheese as if nothing had changed.

Eddie had a love-hate relationship with The Tipsy Giraffe. Since Rich’s friend Lucas had gotten a job there it had become the hangout spot for them and their friends. On the one hand, the drinks were good and the bar was always in that sweet spot where it was quiet enough that you could hear whoever you were talking to, but loud enough that not everyone could hear what you were saying, but on the other hand, he doubted the places cleanliness. The scent of stale beer and old cigarette smoke stubbornly clung to it and everything was worn in but, on a good day, Eddie could enjoy himself despite that.

He was sat at the bar nursing a gin and tonic and waiting for Myra to arrive when he noticed Lucas putting up a poster.

“What’s that for?” He asked when Lucas returned to the bar.

“Open mic night,” Lucas shrugged, “boss reckons it’ll bring in new customers or som’in. ‘Opefully someone bad enough to be good will sign up.” Before he could change his mind Eddie asked Lucas for a sign up sheet.

“Your funeral,” Lucas shrugged, handing one over.

Eddie eagerly began to fill it out, the night was in two weeks which would give Rich plenty of time to prepare, especially since Eddie knew he had some material stashed away somewhere.

“What are you doing?” Eddie had just finished when Myra arrived, looking tired but otherwise cheerful. Eddie snatched the application away.

“Nothing,” he said. Myra raised an eyebrow but Eddie stubbornly held her gaze until she sighed and gave up.

“Fine,” she said, “keep your secrets.” She immediately dropped the subject and began telling him about their neighbour, Mrs Fletcherson’s cat going ‘missing’ and Myra finding it in Fletcherson’s apartment, having never left.

After two drinks, she left and Eddie handed in the application.

“Did you call Rich to tell him or som’in?” Lucas asked, reading it over.

“No,” Eddie said, because he knew that if he did that Rich would find a million reasons not to do it, “I’m going to tell him tomorrow.”

Rich had a rare Saturday off which meant they could spend the whole day together, they planned to do nothing but lounge around and enjoy eachothers company.

Lucas seemed hesitant but shrugged and filed the application.

Eddie decided there was no point in going all the way back to his apartment just to treck back the next morning so instead he just headed back to Rich’s apartment, intending to wait up for him.

The slam of the door woke him suddenly. Eddie had no idea how long he’d been asleep but his mouth was horribly dry and when he went to take a sip of tea it was cold. He cringed at the taste.

“Hey,” he said, laughing as Rich jumped.

“Jesus Christ! Don’t sneak up on people like that!” He exclaimed, only making Eddie laugh harder.

“Why’d you think the door was unlocked?” He asked. Rich shrugged, searching his fridge for something to eat.

“I thought I’d left the door unlocked or something,” he said.

“You’re a fucking moron,” Eddie shook his head with affection. Rich finally found some ice cream and joined him on the couch.

“You know it baby,” he smirked, “how was Myra?” Eddie stole some of the ice cream for himself.

“Same as always,” he said, “hey! The Tipsy Giraffe is having an open mic night.”

“Oh cool. I’ll check it out.”

“I already signed you up.”

Rich dropped him spoon.

“What?”

“I signed you up for it,” Eddie repeated, then caught Rich’s expression, “what?”

“You seriously just signed me up without asking me?” Rich asked slowly, Eddie couldn’t tell if he was trying to understand it himself or if he wanted Eddie to understand it.

“Yeah, I know you have some material and it’s not for a while so-”

“No. You don’t get to act like this is okay,” Rich sounded more confused than angry, but something in Eddie snapped.

“Well I had to, because if I just told you about it you wouldn’t sign up! I’m not apologising for wanting you to move on with your life and pursue something!” He said.

“That’s not your place! This isn’t encouraging me Eddie! This is signing me up for something without telling me! Are you going to ‘encourage’ me by handing in my resignation for me?” They were both standing and shouting, but neither noticed.

“You’re overreacting! I’m not forcing you to make a big life decision!” Eddie waved him off.

“No, you just want me ‘to move on with my life’ whether I want to or not!” 

“It’s not like you’re happy! You hate your job you know you do!” Eddie argued.

“Everyone hates their job! Believe it or not Eddie I am happy where I am at the moment! I don’t want to be here forever, but for the moment I’m happy and I don’t need you to tell me I shouldn’t be!” Rich told him.

“I did it because I love you and I know what’s best for you!” Rich had to take a moment to process what Eddie had said but when he did, he took a step back his face cold and unreadable.

“I think you should go,” he said flatly. His lack of emotion only irritated Eddie further. Was that really his reaction to Eddie telling him he love him? Nothing?

“Fine!” Eddie snapped and stormed out.

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

Richie returned to their room in a daze, with a bottle of vodka and an unlit cigarette in his mouth. Logically, he knew he’d bought them, but the memory felt distant and detached as if he’d watched someone else to do it. Hands shaking he was about to light up when,

“Rich!” Eddie interrupted him, and he realised what he was doing.

“Shit Eds, sorry,” he said, taking a cigarette out of his mouth and throwing it away.

“It’s alright, I guess some habits die hard,” Eddie said, waving his aspirator sheepishly, “I was just about to call and make sure you were okay.”

“Fine and dandy,” Richie lied, Eddie raised an eyebrow, “well, alive at least,” he admitted.

“Did you find anything interesting on your walk?” Eddie asked. Sighing, Richie layed down on the bed, the bad sleep the night before catching up with him.

“A bunch of trauma I wish I’d left repressed,” he said, making Eddie laugh a little, “you?”

“The same.”

“Eds, do you think-”

  
  


:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

“-I should call him?” Rich asked. Sandy smacked the phone from his hand.

“No Rich, you shouldn’t!” They were both drunk. Sandy had wanted to drag him to a club to ‘get over it’ but Rich had told her that four days after a fight was too early, so they’d compromised, and decided to get very drunk at Sandy’s apartment.

“I mean he was kinda right,” Rich slurred, “that’s why I got that new jon, ‘cos I was ready to move on with my shit.”

“No! That’s different, that was your choice!” Sandy told him. She got loud when she drank, but Rich was usually too drunk to notice, as he was that evening.

“He just wanted me to be better! I don’t know, maybe I should be, to deserve him?” Sandy reached over to clumsily hit him.

“Rich you’re a fucking idiot!”

“That’s what I’m saying!”

“No! Look at me!” Sandy ordered. Rich did, she was swaying slightly but completely earnest, “this isn’t on you okay? He shouldn’t try and force you to be what he thinks he should be, but encourage you to be who you want to be.” It was the kind of honest statement which could only be made late at night between two friends late at night. It lingered heavily between them, until Rich, who was staring too intently at Sandy’s face, toppled over and fell onto her, sending both into a fit of drunk, hysterical, laughter.

“Get off me loser!” Sandy said, pushing Rich off of her and rolling him onto the floor, which, of course, made them both burst into laughter again.

“Fuck!” Rich swore when he arrived back at his apartment the next evening and found the door unlocked, thinking he must have forgotten to lock it, again. Instead, he opened it to see Eddie sat at his kitchen table. Right, he gave him a key.

“What do you want?” He asked, exhausted. He’d had to go to work hungover and he really didn’t want to deal with whatever Eddie was going to say/do.

“I-” Eddie didn't seem sure what he wanted to say, “I went to The Daily Grind a few times, you weren’t there. Myra said you got a new job,” he said eventually.

“Yeah, I got it before our fight,” Rich told him shortly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Eddie asked quietly, sounding hurt.

“I was going to surprise you on Saturday,” Rich shrugged, and when Eddie didn’t say anything, he added, “look is that all you wanted to say?”

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have filled in that application in for you,” Eddie said.

“No you shouldn’t have,” Rich agreed. Eddie was trying desperately to catch his eye while Rich was desperately resisting.

“Are we good?” Eddie asked. Rich sighed and finally sat down across from him.

“No,” he said.

“But I apologised-”

“It’s not just about the application!” Rich snapped. He ran a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath, “you told me you loved me to make me feel bad for being mad.”

“I didn’t-”

“You did. You said you loved me and knew what was best for me! You can’t manipulate me like that! It’s fucked up!” Eddie didn’t respond immediately, allowing the truth to continue to spew from Rich’s mouth, “it makes me question if you really love me, or just a version of me you have in your head, if you think I’m good enough for you.” He finally met Eddie’s eyes, which were wide and honest.

“I’ve never loved someone before,” Eddie admitted, “or had someone be in love with me, at least I don’t think so. My mother maybe, but that was super fucked up so I don’t think it counts, but I think I love you.” Rich’s breath caught in his throat.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Eddie said, “the actual you, with your dorky glasses, and your complete lack of fashion sense.” Rich gasped.

“I am a fashion icon!” 

“You’re a fashion disaster! You either dress like a teenager, a middle-aged dad on a cruise, or a horrible mix of both,” Eddie told him. Suddenly, they were both laughing.

“That’s mean! You’re mean Eddie Kaspbrak!” Rich told him.

“It’s the truth!” Eddie exclaimed, “but I love you anyway.” Rich beamed when he saw it, it was like the final piece of a jigsaw, it made everything fall into place. He took Eddie’s hands across the table.

“I thank you for our sacrifice,” he said, which made them both burst out laughing again.

“Your mom really did a number on you huh?” Rich said later when they were both curled up in Rich’s bed together.

“I guess,” Eddie said, curling closer to him, “I missed this, I can never sleep at my own place.”

“You should move in,” Rich said without thinking.

“Okay.”

“I mean you don’t have to but you spend almost all your time here anyway so-”

“Rich?” Eddie cut Rich’s anxious rambling with a soft kiss, “I said okay, let’s do it.”

“Really?”

“Truly.”

“You’re sure?” Eddie let out an exasperated but fond laugh.

“Yes!” He told Rich, “I’m sure!”

“I think this is the first time I’ve been to your apartment,” Rich said. They were there to pack up the remainder of Eddie’s things.

“It is,” Eddie’s hand hesitated over the door handle, “don’t get too excited.”

“No promises,” Rich winked, and Eddie ignored him.

Rich didn’t know what he’d expected from Eddie’s apartment but it wasn’t what he got. It was as if he’d stepped through a time portal to the 1950s suburbia. The dated couch was covered in plastic, preserving the pastel colors and frills along the bottom. Various ornaments littered the surfaces of the room, most of them cute animals or creepy cherubs. The room looked as if it hadn’t been touched since Eddie’s mother had died, the ornaments were covered in a thick layer of dust, an old issue of Reader’s Digest sat on the coffee table and a pair of women’s slippers sat by the couch. It was as if the room had been left as some kind of memorial. It felt haunted, and Rich was sure he could feel someone watching him.

“Nice place,” he said, Eddie was looking at the room like it was the first time he’d seen it, “not gonna lie, the old lady vibes really get me going,” Rich joked. Eddie shot him a cold look.

“Beep fucking beep,” he snapped, storming off to pack up another room. Rich wanted to give him space, but he wasn’t sure how much, if any of the crap Eddie wanted. So, sighing, he followed him.

“Eds?”

Eddie wasn’t hard to find, Rich just had to listen for the sound of frantic packing.

“Eddie?” He asked again, cautiously pushing the door open. Eddie’s burst of energy abandoned him and left him sat against his old bedroom’s wall, staring right ahead. Rich noticed with a start that he was crying. He’d never seen Eddie cry before. He hated seeing him so blank, and devoid of any life or fire. Not sure what else to do, he sat down next to him.

“Eddie?” He asked. Eddie turned his head towards him and didn’t really look at him but through him.

“Sorry I snapped,” Eddie said, sounding as if he was waiting for Rich to tell him off.

“No, it was a stupid joke,” Rich shrugged. Eddie didn’t say anything, just turned to stare ahead again.

“Are you okay?” Rich asked. Eddie hesitated for a moment before shaking his head.

“Can I touch you?” He nodded, so Rich wrapped an arm around him. Although he was stiff at first, eventually, Eddie leaned in, resting his head on Rich’s shoulder.

“I hate her,” he cried softly, “I hate that she’s still running my fucking life.” 

“She’s not,” Rich assured him, “you’re running your life. You’re so brave Eds, if she was running your life would you be moving in with another man?”   
“I can’t break the hold she has on me though,” Eddie went on.

“We’ll figure it out, together, you’ve got this Super Spaghetti.”

“Super Spaghetti?” Eddie said through a watery laugh.

“That’s your superhero name!”

“It is not!”

“It totally is.”

They sat in silence for a while, Eddie soaking Rich’s shirt.

“Your shoulder is really bony,” Eddie said eventually, making Rich laugh.

“Thanks!” 

“I’m sorry,” Eddie said.

“For what?” Rich asked genuinely.

“For freaking out,” Eddie told him, “It’s just being back here…” He trailed off, unsure of how to explain it. Rich rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.

“Hey, no,” he said, “you don’t have to apologise. Look are you sure you want to do this today? We could go back to mine and pack your stuff some other time.”

“Are you sure?”

“It’s not a big deal,” Rich said, “it’s not like it’s far.” Eddie completely relaxed against him.

“Thanks.”   
“Anytime,” Rich promised, and Eddie smiled.

“Let’s go home.”

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Rich muttered.

“You did it before,” Eddie reminded him.

“It was different then, I don’t know why but it was. It was so much easier.” Richie’s hands were shaking badly, so Eddie took them.

“You’ve got this,” he said, “do you remember that ritual thing Bill told us about? How you basically talk It to death? Who better to annoy It to death than you?” Eddie felt his own nerves half when Richie laughed.

“You’re mean Kaspbrak,” he said, “and so brave. You’ve always been so brave.”

“What? Rich, as a kid I was convinced everything was going to kill me!” Eddie exclaimed.

“Exactly! And yet you confronted all that and did everything we did anyway!” Rich said, then suddenly turned shy, “I’ve always thought you were brave. Especially when we were kids. I don’t know, you were anxious, sure, but there was something brave and capturing about you, you’ve always had it, it’s just more obvious now.”

Eddie couldn’t help it. He lent forward and kissed him. The kiss started soft but quickly began to run hot and desperate. They fell back onto the bed and began to undress each other with the frantic need and clumsiness of teenagers experiencing these emotions for the first time. It reminded Eddie of when they’d first kissed, it felt as if they were bound together by some kind of electricity and he did not want the connection to break. Richie leaned in, close enough that his breath tickled Eddie’s ear.

“I want to make this last,” he whispered. They took the time to memorise everything about each other, each other’s bodies, the way they fit together. Neither said it, but both were wondering if this would be their last opportunity.

When Richie woke up to Eddie’s fingers carding through his hair.

“Hey,” Richie said, his voice thick with sleep.

“Good you’re finally awake,” Eddie said, “we have shit to do.” Richie smirked up at him.

“You could have woken me up.”

“Oh shut up!” Eddie rolled his eyes, giving him a playful shove.

“You love me.”

“Get dressed Fuckface, we need to meet the others at the library in an hour.”

“Ooh, bossy! I like it!” Rich winked and Eddie promptly shoved him off of the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, okay, I've finally updated this, I feel like it's been forever since I updated his. I'm really happy with this chapter it was fun writing something a bit different with all the horror aspects! Anyway, I just got a new job so I don't know when the next update will be hopefully soon!
> 
> Please comment! I will love you for always!


	7. Losers in the Library

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Losers meet in the library to discuss what happened that summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm finally updating! I know it's been forever! But I've been really busy with work and I'm not going to lie had pretty bad writers block for this chapter! But it's done! Yay! I really hope you enjoy it now its finally here.

They arrived at the library early, to find Mike packing up while Bill awkwardly wandered around, unsure of what to do with himself.

“Don’t worry, we have arrived!” Richie announced, waving the two bottles they’d bought on the way over like trophies.

“I hope that’s the quality stuff, I know you’re loaded!” Mike said.

“The finest Vodka money can buy my man,” Richie told him, “and some coke because Edmundo here insisted we couldn’t drink it straight.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“You can do what you want,” he said, “but I’m not a broke teenager anymore, so I’m not going to drink like one!”

“You’re the same height as a thirteen year old, why not drink like one?”

“Okay first, a short joke? Really? Original. Second, what kind of thirteen year old drinks vodka straight?” Eddie demanded.

“Me.”

“No you weren’t! You can’t pull that shit anymore I knew you as a thirteen year old you little shit!”

“Little shit? That’s rich coming fr-”

“Beep, beep Richie! Put it over there with Bill’s beer,” Mike easily cut their bickering short, smiling at them nostalgically. He’d missed his friends. Richie gave him a salute and did as he said while Eddie gravitated over to Bill who was browsing the horror section.

“Are you  _ really  _ looking for your own books?” He asked.

“Just check-ck-cking out the c-c-c-competition,” Bill said.

“Because our current situation just isn’t scary enough for you?” That made Bill laugh and Eddie felt that funny dip in his stomach he’d always felt as a kid when Bill had laughed, not at him, never at him, always with him.

“I see Ri-it-chie h-h-hasn’t changed,” Bill said, Eddie shrugged.

“None of us have,” he said, “or if we have, being back here has put us back into our old roles.”

“You-oo-oo’ve changed,” Bill said, taking Eddie aback.

“What?”

“Y-y-you seem br-a-a-a- braver, I dunno, more forward,” Bill told him, Eddie hated that Bill could still make his heart beat faster. Some things really didn’t change.

“Oh.”

“Do you want a beer?” Bill asked. Eddie didn’t. He didn’t like the taste, he never had, but he nodded anyway and took a polite sip when Bill handed him one.

“So, you and Richie huh?” Bill went on, “I didn’t see that one coming.”

“I’m pretty sure you’re the only one who didn’t,” Eddie laughed.

“Everyone else knew?”

“I mean, no one said it, but yeah, I’m pretty sure everyone else knew,” Eddie said, “you were always oblivious to stuff like that.”

“I was not!”

“Please, I’m surprised that you even noticed Bev liked you,” Eddie snorted.

“Do you love him?” It was a genuine question, but Eddie couldn’t help but laugh again.

“This is exactly what I mean! That should be obvious!”

“I’ve known you as a couple for less than a day!” Bill protested.

“And we’ve told you we’re engaged! Of course I do, I’m hardly marrying him for his looks or money!” Bill was laughing again, but Eddie barley heard him, he was watching Richie talk with Mike.

In all honesty, he’d never really considered what did make him love Richie. It was easy, even when he couldn’t shut up or drove Eddie insane leaving dirty laundry everywhere, he just was. He knew he loved Richie the same way he knew the sky was blue. 

“I’m glad,” Bill said, pulling Eddie out of his thoughts, “but if he ever hurts you call me and I’ll kill him.”

“Thanks Bill,” Eddie laughed. Without warning, Bill pulled him into a hug, which Eddie returned slightly sheepishly. It was a nice moment, so of course Richie’s yells interrupted it.

“Oi! Denbrough! Get your hands off my fiance!” Bill laughed and moved his arm so it was around Eddie’s waist instead.

“What you gonna do Trashmouth?” He teased, “he’d found a real man!” Eddie scrambled out of Bill’s arms.

“Yeah, I have,” he said, “wanna run away together Mike?”

“Anywhere you want baby,” Mike shrugged, and a whole new phase of arguing began.

Eventually, Ben then Bev stumbled in, neither seeming fully aware of where they were or what they were doing there, and The Losers Club was almost complete. Almost. They sat as a group for a while, drinking and talking and it became more and more obvious someone was missing.

“Hey,” Eddie said, catching Richie’s hand whole everyone else was listening to Bill, “you okay?”

“Great,” Richie lied. He couldn’t see his smile but he knew it wasn’t very convincing.

“Bullshit,” Eddie said, “you haven’t said anything for the past ten minutes, that has to be some kind of personal record.” Richie knew it was a joke, but for some reason it stung. He snatched his hand away.

“Ha ha,” he said drily, “no one’s forcing you to talk to me.”

“Oh come on Rich, you know that’s not what I meant, I just meant I can see something's wrong,” Eddie said. Richie didn’t respond, but did move closer to Eddie, almost leaning on him.

“Do you want to go outside?” Eddie asked. Richie nodded.

“We’re going to go and get some air!” Eddie announced to the rest of the group, Bill wolf whistled, laughing as Richie gave him a half-hearted middle finger.

Outside the air was cold and the town was quiet. It was as if they were on another planet, at 9’o’clock in New York things would just be starting to pick up, but Derry was almost a ghost town.

“So what’s up?” Eddie asked.

“I just… I miss Stan. I keep expecting to hear him telling us to shut up, or make a weird joke, but he’s not there.”

“I know, there’s a hole without him,” Eddie said. 

“He was my first friend,” Richie said, staring ahead at nothing in the distance, “we were friends before we had anyone else, not that he’d ever admit that he was my friend, and it kills me that he died alone.”

“He told me once he considered you his best friend,” Eddie remembered suddenly, “you were the only one who got his weird jokes.”

“They were pretty weird,” Richie laughed, “do you remember when we all took a puff of your inhaler and he asked if it was Kosher?”

“Yes! I had no idea what that meant as a kid!”

“Me neither, but I don’t think even he did, not really,” Richie said, taking his glasses off to clean them. Gently, Eddie took them himself and began to do it for him.

“I wish he was here,” he sighed, “he was one of the few sane members of the group.”

“What does that say about us coming back and him not?” Richie said. He wasn’t really looking for an answer and Eddie didn’t give him one, instead just putting his glasses back on for him, “If he was here he’d call us all idiots,” he went on.

“Yeah, and he’d say you were the biggest idiot of all of us,” Eddie smirked.

“Untrue! I think you have that ranking now!” 

“How’d you figure that one out Fuckface?” 

“Because I may be a dumbass, but that wasn’t my choice, it was however your choice to marry a dumbass,” Richie explained smugly.

“That makes no sense.”

“Sure it does, you’re just too dumb to understand.”

“You are so annoying, I regret asking you to marry me,” Eddie joked without thinking, then saw Richie’s face close off, “I didn’t mean that, I’m sorry!” Richie shook his head.

“No I’m just being stupid-”

“Hey,” Eddie reached up to cup Richie’s face, “no it’s this town. It’s fucking with us, playing on our fears.” Richie leaned into the touch.

“Fuck this town,” he said.

“Fuck this town,” Eddie agreed.

“Oi! Losers!” Bev called from inside, “get in here! We need you!” She slammed the door behind her

“We better do as she says,” Richie said, “she still scares me.”

“Good!” Bev told him.

Inside, the rest of the losers were sat on the floor and were just about to start recounting what had happened that summer. Mike had pulled blankets from somewhere, Richie and Eddie took one to share and took their place in the circle. With all of them sharing pillows and blankets and the mismatched bottles of alcohol between them it felt like a sleepover. As Mike told the story of The Rock War Richie watched enviously as Beverly smoked cigarettes like they were going out of style. He didn’t even realise he was doing it until Eddie squeezed his hand, he took a swig of his vodka instead.

“Then we did the smoke hole ritual!” Richie remembered suddenly when Mike finished his story. Mike nodded and gestured that he should continue. Richie tried to begin, but was struggling to focus, it felt like he couldn’t breathe he was craving a smoke so badly.

“Do you still have those cigarettes?” Eddie asked him after a few false starts.

“What?”

“You should have a few, if you want, it’ll calm your nerves,” he explained, as if Richie hadn’t quit years ago, “maybe it’s like the glasses, we have to… I don’t know, be who we were then.” The rest of the group was nodding.

“Do you want some of mine?” Bev asked.

“No it’s alright,” Richie pulled a pack from his jacket pocket sheepishly, “I forgot I quit.” After taking a deep drag, Richie began.

“So, I remember I-”

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

“-stink,” Eddie complained as Rich came home one evening after a night shift at the station.

“Gee thanks Eds,” Rich said, half playful, half serious, “you have such a way with words.”

“It’s not my fault you stink,” Eddie grumbled, “your the one who insists on smoking, those things will kill you.”

Rich barley had to listen they’d had the conversation so many times.

“So do those cars you help design!” He argued. Eddie had his eyes shut, and yet Rich felt sure he was rolling them.

“I’m not telling you why that’s a stupid argument again,” he said. Rich just grinned and slid into bed next to him. Eddie squeaked as he Rich put his cold feet on him.

“Get your freezing fucking feet off of me!”

“Aw, what’s the point in having you warm my bed if you’re not going to warm me up?” Rich teased. Eddie didn’t say anything, possibly because he knew it was pointless, possibly because he was already asleep.

As soon as it was the first of December Rich covered his apartment with the tackiest Christmas decorations money could buy, a hot pink Christmas tree covered with garish, unmatched baubles, tinsel everywhere, and worst (best) of all a creepy Santa toy which sat on top of the TV, surveying the apartment.

“Hey!” Eddie said excitedly as he came home from work that evening, “look what I found!” He presented it to Rich with a flourish. It was meant to be a snowman: but one of it’s eyes had fallen off and the cheap white fabric used to make it was turning yellow. The one eye that was still on was far too realistic and had cheap glue leaking from underneath it.

“Oh my god!” Rich laughed delighted.

“Wait for it…” Eddie pressed the snowman’s hand and it began to have a seizure which may have been intended to be dancing to a very crackly ‘Walking in a Winter Wonderland’.

“That was beautiful,” Rich pretended to wipe a tear from his eye.

“I knew you’d like it.”

“How much was it?”

“Two dollars, it was reduced,” Eddie told him, “pretty sure I saved him from the dumpster.”

“You’re a hero Kaspbrak,” Rich said sincerely, then turned back to the snowman thing, “I sub thee Humbert!” He placed him on top of the TV with Creepy Santa and grinned at them.

“I love you,” he said.

“Are you talking to me or Humbert?”

“Both.”

“I wanna get him something special,” Rich told Sandy, they were both holed up in a coffee shop on one of their rare days off together, hiding from the bitter New York winter.

“I don’t know Rich,” Sandy shrugged, stirring her latte, “he’s your boyfriend, you know him better than I do.”

“You’re his friend! He must tell you stuff!”

“I’m not telling you what your boyfriend says about you Richard, this isn’t middle school,” Sandy rolled her eyes.

“I’m not asking you too! Just give me an idea, help me Sandy Robinson, you’re my last hope,” Rich begged, Sandy was unimpressed.

“A Star Wars reference?” She scoffed, “really?”

“What? Star wars is good.”

“You are such a nerd,” Sandy complained, “I don’t know why I’m friends with you.”

“You’re right!” Rich exclaimed changing tactics, “I’m a pathetic nerd! That’s why I need your help!” Sandy sighed, but was clearly thinking about it.

“I don’t know, sometimes a gift isn’t really about the gift it’s about the gesture,” Sandy said vaguely, she took advantage of the pause to take a sip of her drink while Rich thought about it.

“Smoking!” He announced suddenly, almost making Sandy spit out her coffee.

“What?”

“I could quit smoking,” Rich said.

“Are you kidding? I’ve been trying to get you to quit smoking with me for years! Then some guy asks you too and suddenly your all for it?”

“What can I say Sandy?” Rich asked, kicking back in his chair, “obviously you’re just not as persuasive.” He smirked when Sandy cringed.

“Gross,” she said.

“I meant he quotes statistics at me, nothing more convincing than hearing how many people die per year from lung cancer, get your mind out of the gutter!” Sandy shot him a sceptical look, “but yeah, also how you’re thinking.”

“There we go,” Sandy said, “Look Rich I’m not saying that it’s not a good idea, but you know quitting smoking is hard right? And you can’t go back on it if it’s a gift.”

“Never underestimate the power of Ricardo Matilda Tozier,” Rich said smugly.

“The fact that you don’t know your own middle name doesn’t fill me with confidence,” Sandy said.

“You don’t know my middle name,” Rich shot back.

“I’ve seen your driving license, it starts with a W.”

“Yeah the W is silent.”

“Right,” Sandy said, “you are serious about this right? Because you can’t just quit smoking to get laid, it’s hard and if you promise you can’t go back on it.”

“Yeah I know,” Rich said, “I’m serious.”

“Alright,” Sandy nodded and began digging through her purse, she finally found what she was looking for and threw Rich some nicotine gum, which he did not catch. She laughed as he scrambled to pick it up from the floor.

It turned out, quitting smoking was hard. It was easy for Rich to throw away his last pack and lighter away in the moment, but as he walked home from work, the cravings really hit. He didn’t know what to do with his hands and he could almost feel the warm, ashy taste on his tongue. Forcefully, he pushed past the corner shop and made it home. He felt very proud of himself, until he realised he’d only quit 8 hours before.

Rich had genuinely thought when he got the job at the radio station he wouldn’t have to work Christmas Eve again, and yet he found himself sat alone in the break room. It wasn’t that he wanted other people to have to work Christmas Eve but not only did it give the station an eerie vibe but it was also lonely, at least in retail there were people to share the pain with. Half an hour into the all music hour Rich hadn’t eaten anything because he was still on the phone with his mother.

“Love you too Ma,” he said, trying to gently push her off of the phone.

“When are you coming to visit Richard? We haven’t seen you in so long! We miss you!”

“I miss you too Ma,” Rich felt like a robot, repeating the same stock phrases over and over.

“You know you can bring whoever it is you’re living with as well don’t you? We’d love to meet him,” his mother went one. Rich was pretty sure that this conversation did not require him, that he could start eating and his mother would just go on talking to herself.

“I’ll ask him Ma.”

“Make sure you do,” she ordered, “Merry Christmas Richard.”

“Merry Christmas Ma.”

Rich hung up with a sigh and lent back on the break room chair, he was just about to take his first bite of his sandwich when his phone began to ring again.

“Yes Ma?” He asked, without bothering to check who was calling.

“Not your mom,” the voice on the other end said, “please never call me that again, that’s some Freudian shit I don’t want to deal with.” Rich felt all his muscles relax as he heard Eddie’s teasing voice come down the other end of the phone.

“No promises Eddie dearest,” he said.

“I’ll break up with you.”

“You wouldn’t!”

“Try me Tozier!” That made Rich laugh.

“Not that I’m not glad to hear from you, but shouldn’t you be at Sandy’s party? It’s bad manners to be on your phone at a party Eddiekins,” he scolded.

“I’m not at the party,” Eddie said, “I’m kind of outside.”

“You’re where?”

“I’m outside! Will you let me in? It’s freezing!” More confused than anything Rich went to do so.

“If this is a prank you got me good Eds, but it’s a cruel one,” he said.

“It’s not a prank Fuckface, now let me in!”

Eddie was dressed like an elementary school student whose mother was convinced he was going to catch frostbite on the short walk to school. He had a puffy jacket over a jumper, a hat with a fluffy hood ever it, a dorky scarf and honest to god mittens, more importantly, he was carrying a box of Chinese food under one arm.

“Eds! My one true love!” Rich cried, making Eddie roll his eyes, but he didn’t hesitate to come into the studio.

“Alright listeners, Trashmouth Tozier is back to annoy you as you drive home, or to your in laws house, or at work, or just listening to the radio because you think the TV is a ploy by the government to monitor you, in which case, you know too much, and they will find you. Anyway, since they’ve basically abandoned me and I can do whatever I want, this next hour is for all you poor retail workers who are going insane listening to the same five Christmas songs over and over: a non-Christmas music hour! We’re kicking it off old school with a favourite of mine, ‘ _ Eddie my Love’  _ by  _ The Teen Queens _ !”

Eddie at least had the common decency to wait until Rich was off the air before he started laughing at him.

“That was so cheesy!” He was sat in Rich’s lap with a box of chow mien, well on his way to getting drunk on some cheap wine Eddie had also brought with him, “I can’t believe I’m dating you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Rich said dismissively, “is that my jumper?” Eddie blushed.

“Shut up,” he muttered, mouth full of noodles.

The night went on like that, with them alternating on who picked the songs and messing around. By the time Rich’s shift was over he felt ridiculously happy, even though he hadn’t had any of the wine. By the time they began home, Eddie was at least tipsy and had become clingy. He swayed slightly as they were walking, hanging off of Rich’s arm.

“You never think ahead! You’re going to get sick and I won’t look after you!” Eddie ranted. When he’d found out Rich had come in only a jacket he’d wrestled Rich into his hat and scarf, then began ranting. Rich wasn’t really listening.

“You’re so cute,” he said fondly, cutting Eddie off.

“Shut up!” Eddie whined, and Rich could only laugh, without thinking he grabbed Eddie’s cheek.

“Cute, cute, cute,” he insisted.

“Beep beep Fuckface,” Eddie said, pushing Rich away but he was blushing and this only made Rich laugh more, “you’re a real Turd Richie,” he said. That pulled Rich up short.

“What did you call me?” But Eddie had taken Rich’s hesitation as an opportunity to pull away, and was walking away. Rich had to run to catch up with him.

“Hey,” he realised suddenly, “it’s officially Christmas, I can give you your gift.”

“You have it on you?”

“Sort of…” Rich hesitated, suddenly unsure of himself. Eddie grabbed his hands and pouted.

“You can’t leave me in suspense like this! Tell me!” He insisted.

“Okay!” Rich laughed, “I quit smoking.”

“Really?” Eddie asked, suddenly quiet.

“Yeah, I haven’t had one in almost a month,” Rich told him, “you can ask anyone I-” Eddie cut him off with a soft kiss.

“You’re lips are so chapped,” Eddie said when he broke away, making Rich laugh.

“Wow, thanks babe,” he-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

-finished his story rather dramatically by putting out his final cigarette.

“Guess I’ve gotta brush my teeth before kissing you again eh Eds?” he joked.

“Oh fuck off,” Eddie said good naturedly, elbowing Rich as the other man ruffled his hair, but Richie didn’t, instead he wrapped his arm around him and pulled Eddie closer. The grip was a little tight, but Eddie didn’t protest, and moved to lean on him. Suddenly, Eddie’s arm exploded in white hot pain, like it had been burnt… No… Broken. Richie looked at him in concern but Eddie refused to meet his eye and instead swallowed a painkiller dry.

“I broke my arm,” he remembered, the rest of the room was nodding, remembering as well.

“Tell uh-uh-us what hap-hap-hap, what went on Eddie,” Bill said. Richie was still trying to catch his eye but Eddie ignored him, trying to focus-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

-on the road in front of him rather than Rich’s obnoxious singing.

“Will you shut up?” He snapped eventually, then instantly felt bad about it when Rich turned the radio off.

“You have nothing to worry about,” he said.

“Not helping,” Eddie told him, “besides, I don’t know why you’re so certain they’ll like me.”

“I don’t know why you’re so convinced they won’t! You’re great! What could they possibly not like about you?”

“I could think of a few things,” Eddie muttered darkly.

“Come on, if they didn’t want to meet you they wouldn’t have practically begged me to bring you along,” Rich said, then slipped into a high pitched impression of his mother, “Richard when are you going to visit us? When are we going to meet the nice young man you’re living with? Have you just made him up? I wouldn’t put it past you.” Eddie snorted despite himself.

“She didn’t say that,” he said.

“She didn’t,” Rich agreed, “but I’m pretty sure she’s thinking it. She’s going to be so relieved that I haven’t gone insane that she’ll love you.”

“And your dad?”

“He used to be a hippie, they both did, so he’s probably going to go on about free love and show you pictures to try and prove how cool he is with it,” they’d had the conversation multiple times before, but Eddie needed to hear it again, “they’re massive dorks,” Rich added.

“You take after them then,” Eddie joked.

“Touche,” Rich grinned, “they’ll love you, and if they don’t, then fuck them and we’ll go to the hotel and have fantastic angsty sex. It’s a win, win!”

“Beep beep Rich,” Eddie said laughing. Rich smiled and turned the radio back up, returning to his obnoxious singing.

They arrived at Rich’s parents house far too quickly for Eddie’s liking. It was a picturesque two story house in a nice suburban neighbourhood. Eddie tried to imagine a teenage Rich growing up there, sneaking smokes on the pretty wrap around porch, or climbing through the window 

when he forgot his key or was trying to get in after curfew, but he couldn’t. The neighbourhood which was clearly under the tyrannical rule of the H.O.A to the point where the hedges were all the same height clashed with Rich who, though he was nearing 30, always wore the same pair of tatty converse to such an extent they just couldn’t mix in Eddie’s mind.

“You ready to do this?” Rich asked, surprisingly gentle. Eddie nodded. As soon as they were out of the car Rich grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. 

“Trust me,” he said, “in an hour they’ll be begging us to trade places so you can be their son instead.” Eddie didn’t get a chance to respond before Rich knocked tunefully at the door. It wasn’t long before an older woman opened it, despite her grey hair and lined face her eyes were bright and playful.

“Richard!” She exclaimed, and pulled Rich into a tight hug. Rich sort of laughed and patted her on the back.

“Hey Ma,” he said, “I take it you missed me then?”

“Don’t tease me! You never visit!” Rich’s mom scolded, though it was clear she wasn’t really angry.

“Sorry,” Rich shrugged, laughing again when his mom mimed hitting him on the back of the head.

“You will be,” she promised, then for the first time, noticed Eddie.

Rich had told him the shirt wasn’t necessary and Eddie regretted not listening to him because as soon as she looked at him he felt it begin to strangle him.

“Hello,” Mrs Tozier said, “you must be-”

“Eddie-Spaghetti,” Rich interrupted.

“Just Eddie,” Eddie told her.

“Not Eds?” Eddie was about to beep him when Rich’s mom cut in.

“Don’t tease him Richard,” she said and Rich put his hands up in mock surrender but, to Eddie’s surprise, did as he was told. He made a mental note to tease Rich about this later.

“It’s nice to meet you Eddie,” Mrs Tozier said warmly.

“The pleasure’s all mine Mrs Tozier,” Eddie cringed even as he said it, turning a bright red when Mrs Tozier laughed.

“Call me Maggie dear,” she told him, “It's a shame your manners haven’t rubbed off on my son.”

“He’s a lost cause,” Eddie said before remembering himself, fortunately Maggie laughed.

“Ain’t that the truth,” she agreed.

“I’m right here!” Rich protested.

“Good,” Maggie said, “maybe you’ll learn something.” She moved aside to let them into the house.

“I told you she’d like you more than me,” Rich whispered to Eddie as they did so.

“Went will be home soon,” Maggie announced going into the kitchen, “make yourself at home.”

Rich did not hesitate and threw himself onto the couch, Eddie however took his time to examine the room, particularly the pictures on the mantle. A wedding picture: clearly staged but the smiles were real. One of the whole family, a teenage Rich, all limbs, glasses and braces with his arm around a Labrador. Finally, an awkward school photo of a very young Rich.

“Oh god, don’t look at that,” Rich groaned, “I swear they just keep it around to embarrass me.” It was an unflattering picture, but Eddie would be lying if he’d said he didn’t see the appeal, coke-bottle glasses, too large front teeth and messy hair, sure Rich looked an absolute mess, but he also looked unashamedly himself.

“It’s cute,” Eddie said, and Rich rolled his eyes.

“So I’ve been told.”

“It is cute!” Maggie interrupted, “stop pouting Richard.” Rich pouted more dramatically, but Maggie ignored him.

“Do you want anything to drink Eddie?” She asked.

“Water please,” she nodded and went back to the kitchen.

“What about me?” Rich called after her.

“You know where everything is!” Maggie called back. Rich put on a big show of sighing and dragging his feet as he went into the kitchen and made himself a drink.

“So Eddie, what do you do for a living?” Maggie asked as soon as she came back, putting the water in front of where Eddie was perched on the couch. She went on asking blunt questions all of which Eddie answered nervously, unable to shake the feeling he was being tested.

“Stop interrogating him Ma,” Rich told her eventually, “come on, you go on about how much you miss me and then you don’t ask me a single thing when I get home!” His tone was light, but Eddie didn’t miss the reassuring smile Rich shot him and felt grateful.

“I’m just trying to get to know our guest,” Maggie said.

“Okay, well you can do that by having a normal conversation,” Rich said. Maggie was about to argue back when the door opened.

“Hello?” Someone called.

“Hey Dad!” Rich yelled back. His father came into the sitting room and grinned widely at him.

“Heya Kid,” he greeted as if Rich as if he’d seen him just yesterday. Mr Tozier pecked Maggie on the cheek as he passed her before stopping in front of Eddie who had stood up as soon as Went had come in and immediately regretted it.

“Hello Mr Tozier,” he said and Mr Tozier shook his hand firmly, “Eddie Kaspbrak.” Went just nodded, saying nothing. 

“Jesus Eds, it’s like you’re about to ask for my hand in marriage,” Rich joked, cutting through the tension. Eddie laughed and sat back down.

“It’s called manners Richard,” Maggie scolded, but she too was smiling.

The rest of the evening went in a similar fashion and as they crowded around the table the table for dinner Eddie couldn’t help but compare it to meals with his mother. They’d always sat at the table, his mom had insisted on that, but they’d never really talked to each other. Generally, his mother would just talk at him while he pretended to listen. Dinner with the Toziers was loud, which wasn’t surprising since Rich was there but even so. Conversation flowed easily and soon enough Eddie had forgotten why he was so nervous. Even when Mr Tozier brought up his and his wife’s time as hippies, it wasn’t awkward, just marked with Rich giving Eddie an amused look.

“It was a pleasure to meet you Mr and Mrs Tozier,” Eddie said genuinely at the door.

“Ah, call me Went kid,” Went told him, “you’re making me feel old.”

“You are old,” Rich piped up unhelpfully then hugged his mother goodbye.

“We’ll see you… Tomorrow?” Maggie asked.

“Tomorrow evening,” Rich said, “now I’m rich and famous I suppose I owe you a dinner.”

“You owe us more than that son,” Went said.

“Yes, you have my eternal gratitude for putting up with me for 18 years,” Rich rolled his eyes, “call us tomorrow when you know where you wanna go okay Ma?”

“Will do, now get to that hotel before you pass out!” Maggie ordered.

“Well, you heard the lady Edmundo! We best be off!” Eddie was surprised when Maggie pulled him in for a hug as well. He sat in the car while Rich said a final goodbye to his parents. When he returned his ears were burning.

“I told you they’d like you,” he said smugly. Eddie rolled his eyes and began to drive toward the hotel.

“Yeah, yeah, you were right and I was wrong,” Eddie said.

“Was that so hard to say?” Rich smirked, “they really did like you though. Seriously, once you were in the car they said that if I ever broke up with you they would be on your side.”

“You are such a drama queen,” Eddie complained.

“Alright, they didn’t say that, but they did say I was very lucky, and they could see I was happy,” Rich admitted, too quietly and seriously to be lying. Eddie didn’t know what to say to that, so he just focused on the road in front of him.

“Are you okay?” Rich asked once they got into the hotel room, “you’ve been really quiet ever since we left the house.”

“Everyone’s quiet compared to you,” Eddie said, putting his suitcase on the bed and beginning to unpack, despite the fact they were only staying for a couple of days.

“Alright, you’ve been quieter than usual,” Rich amended.

“It’s nothing,” Eddie insisted refusing to meet Rich’s eye. Rich fell onto the bed, not bothering to take his shoes off first and just looked at him. Eddie tried not to crack under the weight of his gaze and just kept unpacking.

“Come on Eds, part of this whole relationship thing is that you have to talk to me,” Rich said eventually.

“I am talking to you!” Rich rolled his eyes.

“You know what I mean,” he said. Eddie sighed and finally gave up on unpacking, sitting next to Rich and resting his head on the other man’s shoulder.

“It’s stupid,” he said.

“So am I,” Rich joked, “so I cant judge you.”

“I just… It’s just that I never expected to get here, even when I knew I was gay I always expected to marry a woman to make my mother happy and live unhappily ever after, so to be meeting your parents, and living with you, it all just feels surreal. And I’m grateful but… I don’t know if I deserve it.”

“Hey,” Rich turned to look at him, brushing a stray hair out of his face, “you do. Of course you do Eds, you deserve everything you have.”

“I only have it because of you! If it wasn’t for you I’d still be in the closet, probably married to a woman and be absolutely miserable,” Eddie went on.

“What? You underestimate yourself, you always have, what do you need me for? Killing spiders?”

“You’re scared of spiders as well!” Eddie laughed.

“Exactly, you can’t even use me for that! Eds, your the bravest person I know,” Rich told him.

“I’m only brave because of you,” Eddie muttered, making Rich roll his eyes.

“I’m never going to be able to convince you that’s not the case am I?” He asked.

“I’m serious!” Eddie protested, “I wouldn’t be where I am without you, and I want you to know I’m grateful.” Rich smiled at him softly and did Eddie the rare service of taking the compliment without a joke.

“I’m grateful for you too,” he said, then because he was Richard Tozier, and had never been able to handle serious emotions, added, “all of you,” with a wink, laughing as Eddie tackled him for it. Then-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

-after Eddie it was Bev’s turn, and then Ben finished, leaving them all with full, horribly vivid memories of that July.

“I’ll meet you all at the townhouse tomorrow morning,” Mike announced, “and we’ll plan what we’re going to do.” The rest of the group nodded, happy to have some time to rest before that happened. Bill and Bev had been inching closer to each other through the evening, and everyone knew what was going to happen next. On a certain level, they were all aware that it was just meant to happen, the same way Ben was meant to meet Eddie and Bill on the first day of summer, and yet Richie couldn’t stop thinking of Bill’s wife waiting for him at home, probably worried sick. 

Although they were all going to the same place, there was an unspoken agreement to let Bill and Beverly pull ahead, as the other three took longer than necessary chatting to Mike. Well, Richie and Eddie talked with Mike, Ben was preoccupied staring longingly at the door, until Mike shooed them to finish packing up.

The walk back to the town house was uncharacteristically quiet. Ben strode ahead, deep in his thoughts, while Richie and Eddie lingered behind. At one point, Eddie went to say something to Ben but Richie grabbed his arm and shook his head. Eddie wanted to protest, but he’d had a long day, the stolen moments with Rich that morning felt years away, and he just wanted to go to sleep, so he let it pass.

“I’m going to walk Benny Boy back to his room,” Richie announced once they reached their floor, “we probably shouldn’t be alone.”

“That what mean leaving me alone and you walking back alone,” Eddie pointed out, unimpressed.

“Alright, I’m going to walk Ben back to his room so we can talk shit about you.” Rich said and Eddie pecked him on the lips.

“See, was being honest so hard?”

Richie laughed as he and Ben made their way down the hallway toward the stairs.

“You got him then huh?” Ben asked.

“Sure, when there was no competition,” Richie shrugged.

“You’re not saying-”

“Oh my god! No! I’m not saying Eddie would cheat! Just that… Well he didn’t know he was getting the consolation prize you know?” He admitted. It felt weird to say it out loud, the thing he hadn’t been able to get off of his mind since he’d come back to Derry suddenly sounded stupid when he could hear it.

“You’re an idiot,” Ben told him.

“Rude!”

“You are if you think he doesn’t love you more than anything. You belong together any idiot can see that,” Ben said. Richie suddenly remembered a time it was just the two of them, down in that underground clubhouse Ben had managed to make. It was pouring with rain, tapping constantly on the door to the clubhouse.

_ “Hey Ben?” He’d asked, “do you love Bev?” He’d asked as casually as he might have asked Ben if he could read the Spiderman comic Ben was pouring over. Ben turned bright red. _

_ “I- No- Why would you-” He'd stammered worse than Big Bill on a good day. _

_ “Oh come on Heystack, it’s obvious you like like her,” Richie had said. _

_ “Does everyone know?” Ben'd whispered. Despite being certain that Bev knew, Richie had shook his head. _

_ “Just me. I’m a mind reader. For example; right now you are thinking that I am not a mind reader.” _

_ “Lucky guess,” Ben had waved him off. _

_ “Do you love her?” Richie'd asked again. _

_ “I don’t know,” Ben had admitted, “I think so, it’s not just that she’s pretty, it’s everything about her. I want her to be happy even-” _

_ “Even if its not with you,” Richie finished for him. He hadn't been asking, just stating a fact. _

_ “You too huh?”  _

_ “Not Bev.” Richie had liked Bev a lot, and had to admit she was good looking, but she was his friend, and it was clear, no matter how hard he tried to feel differently, that was all she was. _

_ “Eddie?” Ben guessed. _

_ “Does everyone know?” Richie asked, half mocking, half terrified.  _

_ “Just me I think,” Ben had said honestly. Stan Uris had known, but he had never told anyone, and never would. _

_ “You can’t tell anyone!” Richie exclaimed, suddenly panicked. _

_ “I wouldn’t!” Ben seemed offended by the mere idea, “I promise.” Richie nodded. _

_ “I’m glad someone knows,” he said, and they traded sad smiles, each knowing exactly how the other felt. _

“Thanks Ben,” Richie said, Ben nodded, “hey, this thing with Bill and Bev, it’s just how is has to go for now, but once it’s all over, it’ll be you.”

“Or she’ll just go back to her husband,” Ben said.

“Nah, she hates him, she was trying far too hard,” Richie told him, “It’s the same way she used to talk about Bill, she didn’t hate him, but she didn’t really love him either, she just felt like she was meant to.”

“So?”

“So, Bev’s not a kid anymore, and no one’s telling her who she’s supposed to like. Now she’s an adult she’ll see you’re the right fit for her,” Richie said.

“You can’t know that.”

“Sure I can,” Richie was certain of it, the same way he’d been certain about Eddie when he first met him at that party, the same way he’d been certain about the stocks he’d randomly picked out, much to his accountants annoyance, he just knew, “I’m a mind reader I told you that,” he said, Ben elbowed him clumsily in the side for his joke.

“Come on, why would she go for me?” He asked, impossibly earnest. 

“Have you seen you?” Richie asked, “you’re hot man! If I wasn’t already in a committed relationship I would be fist fighting Bev for you!” Ben blushed at that.

“Really?”   
“Honestly and truly, I would never lie about something like that!” Ben laughed and smiled at Richie shyly.

“Thanks Rich, and you’re not a consolation prize, not to him,” he said, and it was suddenly Richie’s turn to smile shyly.

“Thanks Benny, means a lot,” they stopped in front of Ben’s room, “I’ll see you tomorrow morning when we go kill this fucker!”

“See you tomorrow Rich.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I know you're all probably sick to death of flashbacks by now so good news! They won't be in much of the next chapter! The next chapter is the final chapter! And then I have an epilouge. We're almost done! AnYwAy please comment it will literally make my day!
> 
> My tumblr is: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/to-be-sentenced and... I don't have clever to say about that but... it's there! Enjoy!


	8. The Circle Closes

The silence in the hotel room was deafening. Eddie perched awkwardly on the edge of the bed, not knowing what to do. He knew what he should be doing. He should be getting ready to go to bed, but he couldn’t shake the feeling something was watching him. A stupid feeling really, of course something was watching him, something was always watching in Derry. His throat closed up with the asthma he didn’t have. All that talk of him being brave felt mocking when he couldn’t even breathe without an inhaler he didn’t need. Not for the first time since Mike’s call, he wondered what the fuck was wrong with him. That was something he almost certainly didn’t have time to get into, the list was long enough even before he had to add memory loss, killer-

There was a knock at the door.

“I have a message from your wife sir,” a voice called. 

“What?”

“Your wife, she says it’s urgent.”

Eddie felt as if someone had poured cold water down his back, but he ignored it. He’d worked himself up, or at least that was what he convinced himself, it was probably just Richie and one of his stupid voices, either messing with Eddie or sending the poor staff on a pointless errand.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Eddie muttered, but as his hand hovered over the door handle the anxiety crept up on him again. Not trusting anything in Derry fucking Maine, he only opened the door an inch.

The first thing that hit him was the smell. An eye watering mixture of blood, body odour and death that practically slapped him across the face when he opened the door. The man behind the door was dripping onto the hotel carpet (Eddie couldn’t help but feel bad for whoever would be in charge of trying to get those stains out) and grinning with all of his yellow, broken teeth.

Bowers.

“Hello Wheezy.”

Bowers lashed out, his knife cutting swiftly through the air. He managed to get a long, ugly scratch across his target’s nose.

Eddie didn’t think, because there was no time. If he took time to think he’d be dead. He slammed the door shut, trapping Henry’s arm in it. Henry gave a roar of pain and dropped the knife which Eddie promptly kicked under the TV. Unfortunately, he couldn’t hold the door for long and Henry was able to break through. He took advantage of Eddie being knocked off of his balance to tackle him. Eddie tried desperately to get out of his grasp, but it was no use, even injured, Henry was stronger than him.

He pinned Eddie to the desk by his shoulders, trapping his arm under him at an odd angle. The arm gave a sickening crunch and snapped, right down the old break line.

“I’ll teach you to throw rocks!” Henry spat. Up close, Eddie could see that a fair amount of the blood on him must have been his own, one of his eyes was almost entirely gouged out and his nose was turned to an unnatural angle, the sight turned Eddie’s stomach. Henry didn’t seem to notice, and focused on putting pressure onto Eddie’s throat, laughing as he choked.

“What’s the matter? Need your inhaler?” He was enjoying himself. He made sure to give the little queer a few punches for good measure before moving to the main event.

Eddie reached desperately for the water glasses stacked on the desk, but it soon became impossible to do anything but gasp for breath. Fucking great. He was going to die in the shit hole town that had made his childhood miserable looking at Henry Bower’s ugly, broken face.

“Eddie?” Richie. Henry turned in surprise.

“Oh good, Bucky-Beaver, have you come to watch your little fag die?” The distraction had given Eddie enough leeway to pick up a water glass and smash it over Henry’s head, momentarily stunning him and allowing Eddie to pull away. But before he could even catch his breath, Henry had Eddie again, holding a piece of broken glass to his throat.

“You little fucks have some fight in you don’t ya?” He taunted, “first your friend in the library and now you two.”

Eddie locked eyes with Richie and looked under the TV cabinet. Richie immediately understood and want to grab the knife, Henry jumped right after him. Eddie watched, uncomprehending as the pair wrestled for the knife, only coming to his senses when Henry won. Richie tried desperately to escape, but was like an animal in a trap. Just as the knife was inches above his throat, he managed to get a well aimed kick to the gut which knocked Henry back. He fell straight into Eddie who smacked him over the head with the desk chair and didn’t hesitate to force the jagged edge of the broken glass into Henry’s throat.

Henry spluttered and gagged on his own blood, shaking like a landed fish, but no one noticed, he may as well have been an ugly rug.

“I’m not going to lie,” Richie’s head was spinning with adrenaline, and he couldn’t stop himself, “that was pretty hot.” Eddie giggled, then saw Henry’s body and burst into tears.

“He- I-” He choked on his words, but he didn’t know what he was trying to say anyway.

“Come on Eds,” Richie said, gently helping Eddie up and moving him to sit on the bed.

“Bill,” Eddie managed.

“Right, yeah, Bill. I’ll call Bill,” Richie said. He dug out some painkillers and handed them to Eddie who swallowed two dry.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up,” he muttered as he listened to Bill’s phone ring for what felt like hours. Eventually, Bill picked up.

“Hullo?”

“Bill, it’s Richie. You need to come to our room, now. Bring the others.”

“Whu- whu- whu-”

“We’ll tell you when you get here, just hurry up!” Richie snapped and hung up on him without another word.

“Is he coming?”

“Yeah Eds, he’s coming,” Richie assured him, “look, change your shirt, I’ll get a wet cloth for your face.”

Eddie took off his shirt and almost threw up at the sight of it. It was covered in blood, some of which was from the man he’d just killed. Before he could think too hard however, Richie was back.

“Do you mind?” He asked, holding up the cloth.

“I couldn’t do it myself anyway,” Eddie said and looking at his broken arm. Richie nodded and sat down on the bed next to him. Gently, he dabbed at the blood on Eddie’s face.

“We should probably disinfect that cut,” he said, “maybe if we have time, but it doesn’t look too deep, then again, who knows where that fucker’s been-”

“Rich,” Eddie interrupted in a whisper, “I just killed him.” Richie looked into his terrified, tear filled eyes and wanted to sob himself. How did they go from lounging on the sofa together to killing someone in 48 hours? He swallowed to impulse and forced himself to be calm instead.

“You had to Eds. It was him or us. You saved my life man.” Eddie threw himself at Richie and hugged him tight.

“I hate this,” he said, “I keep expecting to wake up and for it to all be some nightmare, and I’ll be back with you, the you I know not the one I forgot, but instead it just keeps getting worse and worse!”

“Eddie I’m going to be honest, I’m fucking terrified,” Richie said and squeezed him closer, “but we have to do this.”

“I know,” Eddie whispered, moving away so Richie could continue to clean his face, “but I still hate it. I just want to go home.” He hated how childish, how needy he sounded, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help but see Henry’s body and feel a tidal wave of guilt, he couldn’t help but see it and think that it could have been him, it could have been any of them. He just wanted it to be over.

“Me too,” Richie agreed, “but for the record, if there’s anyone I’d want to fight whatever the fuck It is it’s you.”

“That’s so cheesy,” Eddie snorted, unable to keep the smile off of his face when Richie pretended to be shocked.

“Oh I’m sorry Eddie spaghetti, have you seen that on a greeting card? ‘There’s no one I’d rather fight a demonic shapeshifter with than you’? Really?”

“Yeah,” Eddie stuck his tongue out, “you’re not original. But for the record? Yeah, I’d want you too.”

They only had a moment to collect themselves before there was the sound of a stampede rushing toward their room and the rest of the group burst in.

“Are y-y-y-you okay?” Bill asked. He only noticed Henry’s body when Bev let out a high gasp.

“Is that?” She asked.

“Bowers,” Eddie confirmed.

“Guess it really is Derry reunion,” Richie had been trying to make a joke, but it came out flat.

“Someone needs to call Mike,” Eddie said, “he was already pretty badly beaten up, and he mentioned the library.”   
Bev immediately pulled her phone out to do so while Eddie caught Bill and Ben up on what had happened. 

“Hello? Is Mike Hanlon there?” The room went silent as soon as Beverly spoke, all listening intently.

“Who are you?” The voice crackled on Bev’s speaker phone.

“Who are you?” Bev snapped, “you’re not Mike Hanlon.”

“I’m police detective Andrew Rademacher, Mr Hanlon has been badly hurt, so I’ll ask you again, who are you?”

“Badly hurt?” Bev gasped.

“Assault, hell it could be murder by the end of the night, so if you know anything you better-” Bev hung up before he could finish.

“What the hell are we going to do?” She asked, “we don’t even know what hospital they’re taking him too, what if-”

“M-m-mm-Mike’s tough,” Bill told her, “he’ll b-b-b-be f-f-f-f- alright.” Bev didn’t look at all reassured, none of them did. Even Bill didn’t seem to believe what he was saying.

Without speaking, Richie took out his own phone and called the library himself, putting on a jaunty reporters voice. He didn’t put it on speaker, but the rest could tell from the way his face grew paler and paler as the call went on that it wasn’t good news. 

“He’s in critical. By the time they found him Bowers was long gone, so he must have lost a lot of blood,” he told the others.

“Mike gave as good as he got,” Eddie said, “he was badly hurt when he got here, one of his eyes was almost gouged out.”

“Maybe we should call the police!” Bev piped up, “we must have enough evidence!” Bill was shaking his head, but it was Ben who spoke.

“No. We’re below their sight lines again,” he said, “there's only one way to end this now.”

“We have t-t-t-to g-uh-o now,” Bill told them, “end thi-thi-this shit for good. Eddie c-c-c-can you wa-al-al-alk?”

“What the fuck? No! We have to go to the hospital and get that arm taken care of first! It looks broken!” Richie argued.

“There’s no time!” Bill snapped, “It’s already gotten Stan and Mike, we need to do this now!” Richie shrank down, feeling like a stupid 13 year old again, in awe of whatever it was that made 

Big-Bill their leader. He tried not to show it as he dug out a shirt to try and turn into a makeshift sling, ignoring Bill as he explained what they were going to do. Perhaps it was childish but he hated Bill in that moment, half jealous, half resentful that Bill was making them do this. That Bill was making Eddie do this. It didn’t help that he couldn’t figure out how to turn a shirt into a sling no matter what he did.

“Here,” Bev said, gently taking it from him when it was clear he had no idea what he was doing and somehow managing to do a decent job.

“Are y-y-y-you read-d-dy to d-d-d-d-do this Eddie?” Bill asked. Eddie looked at him with all the love and hero worship to answer such a question. It was pure puppy love, a lovely and vulnerable expression that was quite beautiful. Richie hated it.

“Sure thing Bill,” he-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

Watched from the wings as Rich finished his show. As much as he liked to tease him, Eddie had to admit that Rich was good on stage. He just had so much energy and charisma that it was impossible to take your eyes off of him. It was where he was meant to be. Eddie had heard all the jokes before, not only when Rich practised them at home either. Rich was (of course) of sleep talker, and in the weeks before the tour Eddie had heard him muttering the jokes in his sleep, timings included. It was a secret that he would take to his grave, but Eddie found it embarrassingly cute. As he waited, he mouthed the jokes along with Rich. It was all very sickening and Eddie was certain if he could see himself he would gag.

Once Rich moved on to his final set, Eddie ducked into his dressing room to wait for the sounds of the final applause. Time stretched thin like a rubber band as he waited, only to snap back and become far too fast when he heard it. Before he knew it Rich was there, beaming at him.

“Eds, you came!” He said. Eddie couldn’t help himself.

“That’s what she said,” he snorted, then cringed at himself. Rich however apparently found it hilarious.

“Who’s she? What woman are you coming for Eddie-Spaghetti? Is it Sandy? I knew it!” He cried dramatically, “me and Joe will have to run off and elope, screw you!”

“Beep beep Rich,” Eddie said with a grin. Rich shrugged and kissed him.

“Did you enjoy the show?” He asked.

“It was alright,” Eddie shrugged, laughing when Rich pouted, “alright it was good! You were funny!” Rich looked as if Christmas had come early.

“Thanks,” he said, for some reason he reminded Eddie of a golden retriever.

“No problem, now come on, I’m taking you out.”

“A date? Eduardo, you spoil me,” Rich teased and went to kiss Eddie again, but Eddie moved away.

“I do, but not while you’re sweaty, get changed,” Eddie ordered, determined not to be taken in by Rich’s smirk.

“I thought you liked me hot and sweaty,” Rich winked even as he walked away to do as he was told. Bastard.It didn’t matter, Eddie wouldn’t be distracted, he had a plan and he was going to-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

-die. He was certain of it. Bill had barely given them enough time to get changed, nevermind enough time to properly prepare. Somewhere, Richie could hear Eddie bitching about them letting Richie drive his car. He latched onto that to try and calm his nerves. It was so familiar that Richie could almost forget he was driving his fiance and three childhood friends to a painful death in the sewers. Almost.

“Left here,” Eddie reminded him. The first aid had been good enough for the various cuts and bruises but Richie was still worried about that arm.

_ “I’ll get it checked when we get out of here,” Eddie had said. _

When. Not if, when. Richie had to keep reminding himself of that. They drove as close as they could, eventually stopping at the kissing bridge, near to the spot where Bowers had almost had Ben’s guts for garters. Derry didn’t change, amongst the various initials and names were various slurs and hateful remarks. Home sweet home. Bill, Bev and Eddie went forward but Richie noticed Ben staring at the spot where Henry had tried to carve him up.

“Hey,” Richie grabbed his arm, “Henry’s dead man. Come on, let’s go end this.”

Ben nodded and went with Richie to follow the others but they both knew that it didn’t matter Bowers was dead. It didn’t matter that Ben has lost all that weight, that they’d managed to have successful careers, that Richie had managed to have a happy relationship. Nothing that had happened over the past 27 years since Ben was jumped on the way home from the library mattered. Not to Derry. To Derry they’d always be Ben ‘Tits’ Hanscom, and Richie ‘Buckey Beaver’ Tozier.

“I can’t believe I’m going to risk my neck for this shithole town again,” Ben muttered as they made their way through the barrens. This startled a laugh out of Richie.

“Haystack,” he said, mock seriously, “if you die for this town I will fucking kill you.”

Maybe it was because they had done nothing but stress for god knows how many hours, maybe it was because they both thought they were going to die, or maybe it was just the feeling of seeing each other after such a long time, but suddenly they were both in hysterics. They tried to walk as they laughed, but soon fell behind, especially because every time one of them managed to calm down, it just took looking at the other and they began laughing again. Eventually, they were able to get a hold of themselves and act like adults. Well, as close as they could get.

“Hu-hu-hurry up you two!” Bill called after them, “what the fuck are you doing back there?”

“We’re having an illicit, passionate love affair!” Richie called back, “just give me a minute to get my pants up!” This made Ben crack up again, especially when Richie winked at him. When they finally caught up the rest were looking at them, completely lost.

“Are you done?” Bev asked, more bemused than anything.

“We’re done,” Richie assured her and slipped his hand into Eddies. They fit so perfectly together that Richie couldn’t even imagine why he had been so scared to hold it 27 years before.

Then they found the entrance to the sewer.

“Alright, are you all ready?” Bill asked. They nodded. Five instead of seven, adults instead of children, and all perfectly willing despite knowing what was down there.

“Well,” Richie bowed, “after-”

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

“-you,” Eddie said holding the door open. Rich bowed to him as he went through.

“I can’t believe you made me get all dressed up for Mcdonalds,” he laughed, still giddy on his post show high, Eddie probably could have taken Rich to the dump after a show and Rich would be excited about it.

“Go get a table, I’ll order,” Eddie told him.

“Oooh bossy, I like it,” Rich smirked and went to find a table, giving Eddie some time to panic. As bored looking workers prepared their food Eddie checked for the millionth time that he had it. He did, of course he did, everything was going to be fine. He’d kept it all fairly low key on purpose, that way there was less to go wrong, less to worry about, and yet he still felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest alien style. He was being stupid, he’d planned all of it out, everything was going to be-

“Erm, Sir?” The cashier’s voice jolted him back to reality and he realised he’d been staring at his prepared order, unmoving.

“Right, yeah, sorry,” Eddie said and took the tray. He was shaking badly. He didn’t know why.

“You alright Eds?” Rich asked. He was smiling that stupid half grin, the one that made you feel like the two of you were in on a joke no one else was. The harsh lighting of Mcdonalds did him no favours, it highlighted the sweaty sheen on his face, revealed how patchy and unkempt his stubble was and dug deep into the laughter lines around his eyes. He was wearing those stupid glasses which were still (despite them having enough money for him to just get new ones already) stuck together with tape. Despite the nice shirt and pants he looked an absolute mess. He was beautiful. 

Eddie put the food down and for the first time doubted his plan. It was understated and kind of goofy, when he’d planned it that had been what had made it appeal to him, but as the moment came closer Eddie wondered if Rich deserved something better.

“Eds, seriously, what’s up?” Rich asked again, taking his food. It was now or never.

“Nothing. Nothing’s up that’s kind of the point really,” he laughed nervously, “we’ve been together a long time and-”

“You’re not breaking up with me are you?” Rich asked, half joking, half serious.

“What? No! Beep beep Fuckface, I’m trying to propose and you’re fucking it up! Anyway-”

“You’re proposing?”

Shit. 

Eddie felt his face turn bright red and he had to swallow the urge to just smack his head into the table. He’d fucked it up. He’d made it so simple, and he’d still managed to fuck it up.

“Eds? Baby? Are you crying?” He’d fucked it up and started crying. Fucking brilliant. Rich reached out and took his hands, “shit man, is the idea of marrying me that bad?” He laughed weakly. With a deep breath, Eddie got himself back under control.

“No it’s just- Fuck, this is so stupid. I had this whole speech planned about how much I love you and stuff and that was like, the one romantic part you know? Cos I’m proposing in a Mcdonalds, I mean, yeah it was the Mcdonalds we had our first date in but it’s still a Mcdonalds, and you’ve done so much for me, I don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t met you, and you deserve so much better, and something romantic, and I love you so much and I fucked up the part where I was going to show you that.”

Rich had to pause for a moment to process all of that.

“Eds,” he breathed, and smiled at him softly, “I love you, I don’t fucking care how you propose, I’d say yes however, but for what it’s worth, this was pretty sweet.”

“Really?”

“Hell yeah, this is the Mcdonalds we went to that first night? I can’t believe you found the right one, and then you made me dress up in a suit?” Rich was laughing, but it wasn’t really at Eddie, he just seemed to be genuinely happy, “it’s awesome Eds, it’s so us! Fuck flowers and sappy love songs, this is romantic.”

“So you’ll marry me?” Eddie asked, beaming himself.

“Hell yeah!” Rich cheered, moving so he was sat next to Eddie rather than across from him so he could kiss him, “do I get a ring?” He asked when they broke apart.

“Oh shit! Right, yeah!” Eddie scrambled to pull the ring box out and handed it to Rich, watching as his fiance put it on.

“It’s my father’s family ring,” Eddie told him, “it’s been in my family forever, at least that’s what my Ma said when she was nagging me about settling down.”

“Oh, Eds, I don’t know, I mean, I want to marry you, fuck I want to marry you, but a family heirloom? You should hold onto it, especially if it used to be your dads I-”

“Beep beep Dickhead,” Eddie interrupted, “I want you to have it, you’ve been my family for a long time, and besides if you have it then I am holding onto it aren’t I?”

“Shit Spaghetti, you can be smooth when you want to,” Rich said.

“Yeah, I took you to Mcdonalds and cried, real smooth,” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“It was perfect,” Rich told him, and Eddie could tell he meant it.

“Good,” Eddie said, “because I love you, and I love who I am when I’m with you, so I think it would be cool if we spent the rest of our lives together.”

Rich laughed.

“That would be pretty cool,” he said and-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

-stopped suddenly.

“Holy shit,” he said, his voice echoing through the dark tunnel, catching the attention of the other four, “this is the place!”

“What are you talking about?” Bill asked.

“Don’t you remember? There was that giant floating eye and we had to fight it!” Richie reminded them.

“Yeah, I remember having to save your ass,” Eddie said and Richie beamed at him as if the memory was anything but downright traumatising.

“Yes! And you said that thing… What was it?” Richie slipped into an eerily good impression of Eddie as a kid, “ _ I’m doing the mashed potato all over it and I’ve got a broken arm! _ ” The rest of the group laughed while Eddie let out an embarrassed groan.

“Alright, I was a weird kid, is now really the time to be making fun of me?”

“It was hilarious! You were hilarious,” Richie gazed at Eddie with absolute devotion, “and so fucking brave. That was the moment I fell in love with you,” he said, “maybe that’s stupid, I mean we were only kids, but yeah… I’m pretty sure that was it.”

Eddie kissed him. It was the kind of soft childish kiss shared between pre and young teens, closed lips with no expectation of more. The kind of kiss they would have shared that summer, had things been different.

“I don’t think that’s stupid at all Richie,” he said. He said it to both of them, the awkward scrawny Richie of his childhood and his fiance, and they both smiled back. It had been him.

“It’s always been you,” Eddie said. The moment was broken by the sound of a small voice.

“Bill?”

“Georgie!” Bill ran toward the sound leaving the rest to follow-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

-the sound of giggled and stupid voices to find Rich and Rose still reading stories, despite the fact Rose was meant to be in bed an hour before. Eddie allowed himself to lean in the doorway and watch as Rich put on a dramatic performance of the picture book Rose had shoved in his lap. They were baby-sitting, allowing Sandy and Joe a well deserved night of freedom. Eddie loved Rose, but the kid had unlimited energy, and he did not. As soon as Rich finished the book Rose put another one in his lap.

“Read the dragon one again!” She begged, “please!” And that was where Eddie had to step in, because Rose had Rich wrapped around her little finger.

“No, come on Rose, it’s already way past your bedtime,” he said. Rose whined but Rich nodded and put the book away.

“It’s alright, we can play tomorrow in the morning,” Rich promised, which was apparently not good enough for the little girl because she stubbornly stuck her bottom lip out, “come on Rose, your mom will kill us if she finds out we let you stay up.”

“I won’t tell if you don’t,” Rose said, and shit that was cute.

“She’d know anyway,” Eddie told her, “your mom can read minds.”

“No she can’t!”

“She can! She’ll find out we let you stay up and never let you come back again,” Rich joined in.

“That’s silly,” Rose declared, “you’re silly,” but she didn’t sound sure. Eddie didn’t say anything, just waited for the threat to set in, because even if Rose was 99% sure it wasn’t true, he knew she wasn’t going to risk that 1%. Finally, she sighed and lay down properly.

“Night,” she muttered, immediately half asleep.

“Night Rosie,” Eddie said. Zorp, who had taken an immediate liking to this smaller, more energetic human who was more than happy to throw his ball or chase him for hours, was curled up at the end of her bed.

“Keep her safe Zorp,” Rich said, “night Rose.”

“She’s got you absolutely wrapped around her little finger,” Eddie teased once they had the door shut, despite it only being 8pm, they were both more than ready to go to bed.

“Shut up,” Rich grumbled good-naturedly, collapsing onto their bed, still fully dressed, 

“She does! You’re too soft on her, what are you going to do when we have kids?” Eddie went on, taking his shoes off before laying down next to him.

“Be the fun parent and let you tell them off?” Rich suggested.

“Probably,” Eddie snorted, and Rich turned to face him.

“Do you want kids? I know we’ve talked about it before, but-”

“I still don’t know,” Eddie sighed, “I love Rosie, I do, but with our work we don’t have time for a kid, not really. Plus, I know you’ll be a great Dad, but I-” He cut off.

“You what Eds?”   
“I just don’t want to be like my Ma.” Rich didn’t know what to say to that, so he pressed a gentle kiss onto Eddie’s forehead.

“Now’s not a good time for a kid,” he admitted, “and I never knew your mom so I can’t comment on that, but I think you’d make a great dad.”

“You have to say that,” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“No I really do, look how you are with Rose, you’re a natural Love,” Richie said, and Eddie turned over and let him spoon him.

“Thanks Rich,” he said, and then in a desperate attempt to move the conversation away from him added, “those voices were pretty good.”

“You were listening?”

“Just for a little bit,” Eddie-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

  
  


-was only half aware of what was happening. Bill and Richie were both elsewhere, their bodies with the rest of them in the sewers, but their minds were clearly elsewhere. Eddie could hear It screaming, like a whole swarm of bees above them as an old wound broke in It’s back again. Blood, black and thick like crude oil, erupted from the split, they were hurting It! 

Beverly got to her senses first, and dug that old slingshot from her back pocket and began to fire rocks at the thing.

“Get fucked!” She cried, and suddenly she was laughing, alive and beautiful as if nothing could hurt her. But as soon as it started, it was over, one of It’s long, terrible pincers took a swing at her. Bev dodged just in time not to be impaled, but not in time to dodge it all together. She screamed and Eddie could swear he heard her flesh sizzle where It had hit her. Ben immediately leapt to help her and the whole group lost their advantage.

Bev and Ben were cowering desperately.

Bill was growing more and more pale by the second like his soul was leaving his body.

Richie was twitching like he was having some kind of seizure, clearly struggling, and somewhere far away, Eddie was sure he could hear him calling their names. They were losing. He had to do something. With no time to think, and no time to chicken out, he acted on instinct and stepped forward, aspirator in hand.

“Here have some of this!” He screamed and sprayed the medicine at It. His childhood medicine which could fix anything, could help him when the older kids bullied him, when things worried him. The magic fix-all medicine that he’d believed could fix all of his problems, including It. It 

screamed again and Eddie felt triumph race through his veins. He did it! Fuck IT! Fuck Derry! Fuck his Ma! He did it! 

Somewhere Beverly screamed.

He felt a clean kind of pain as his arm came straight off and he fell to the floor in a heap. People were gathering around him, they were talking, yelling, crying, but he couldn’t focus on them enough to know what they were saying. He tried, but it was no use. He was too tired. Someone-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

-’s muttering woke Eddie up. Rose was sat on the edge with Rich who had his arm around her.

“You ready to go back to bed? He-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

-begged, “come on Eds, stay with me, please stay with me.” Rich? Rich! Rich was there, he was crying, fogging up those-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

-ridiculous coke bottle glasses he had to wear and placed them on the nightstand to go to sleep.

“She alright?” Eddie asked.

“Just a nightmare,” Rich said, “I left the hall light on like we usually do.”

A real kids trick for sure, but it seemed to do the job whenever the two of them had nightmares. Eddie-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

“-come on you can’t leave me, not now, not here,” Rich begged, cradling Eddie’s head in his lap. He was wet through with sewer water, covered in grime and blood and sobbing. Eddie wasn’t sure why. He wasn’t sure what was happening. He was sure he wanted Rich to stop crying though.

“R-Rich-ich-ie,” Someone said.

“Go! Go finish IT! End this! The sooner it’s over the sooner we can get this over with!” Rich told them.

“Richie-” A female voice tried to say. Bev.

“Go!” Richie roared. Eddie wanted to reach up and wipe away his tears, but he couldn’t move. He wanted to tell Rich everything was going to be okay, but it felt like his mouth was full of sawdust.

“Richie,” he managed. His Richie, his Trashmouth, his Rich, “Rich, I lo-” he choked on his words.

“Shh, I know, I know Eds.”

“I lo-

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

“-ve you,” Richie muttered, rolling over to rest his head on Eddie’s chest.

“I love you too,” Eddie managed just before falling asleep.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PHEW okay this has been a long one, and the first long form fic I've ever completed so yay! I know its not great but I'm proud of myself for finishing it, and I might come back and edit the whole thing another time.  
ANYWAY  
I've actually written two endings, the Epilogue is the REALLY angsty version based on the book ending where they all forget each other again and Eddie as dead (I know I'm sorry), and is how I always intended to end it  
BUT  
I have written an alternate ending here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21275084 in which Eddie lives because I couldn't help myself, so pick your own adventure!  
Thanks for sticking with this fic either way, comment and tell me what you thought! Please. I'm lonely.


	9. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay just fair warning this is VERY angsty, just... read at your own risk okay?

A month after the storm hit Derry, and a week after the losers forgot, this time for good, one final body washed up at Derry, Maine. One of the victims of the storm, the papers had said. No one could identify the man, but in Derry this wasn’t unusual. As always with such things, the case was dealt with quietly, there was no point upsetting people.

Town librarian Mike Hanlon arranged and paid for a proper funeral, despite there being no one to attend it. He went and ensured everything was done properly. No one knew why he insisted upon it, least of all Mike himself, but Mike was a long time and well liked member of the community, so people did what they could to help. A fair few of the oldtimers who had lived in Derry their entire lives paid their respects on the day, feeling an odd sense of debt to and respect for the stranger. Before the man was buried Mike pressed the old aspirator which had been recovered with the body into his hand. Every year on the anniversary of the storm he put a bunch of forget-me-nots on the unmarked grave he paid for. He did it every year without fail until his death. He had no idea why, but Mike had lived in Derry his whole life, and was used to just doing what felt right, and the act felt important.

:*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*:

Rich fiddled with the chain around his neck while he waited. Zorp was looking at him with concern, and Rich couldn’t help but wonder if, after a month, the dog could even remember Eddie, probably not.

A car crash. At least that was the official story, Rich had a feeling there was something more to it, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. In the end, it didn’t matter. Eddie was gone.

“Just you and me now boy,” he told Zorp. They were waiting at the subway station so they could go to the park. Rich couldn’t bring himself to drive. He had a horrible feeling that however Eddie died, it had been his fault.

“You can’t drive for shit,” Eddie’s laughing voice reminded him. Apart from after a month it wasn’t as clear. Rich tried to shake the thought from his head. He refused to break down in public again. Instead, he pulled a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. Fuck it. Zorp whined, he was a lot more subdued since Rich came back alone, probably reacting to his owner’s state because God knew Rich was a state. He rubbed the dog behind the ears.

“I’m fine,” he said, not even convincing his dog.

Rich took a long drag of his cigarette, staring out over the train tracks, still expecting to hear a voice quoting statistics on lung cancer behind him, but there was no one.


End file.
